Pat Boone: In a Metal Mood: No More Mr. Nice Guy

Lots of albums are so bad they're good, but almost none of them were initially intended to be enjoyed as kitsch. Listen to a genuinely hilarious bad record—say, anything by William Shatner—and it's funny because those responsible for it were taking themselves seriously, or at least pretending to take themselves seriously. But when conservative old Christian Pat Boone straps on a leather vest and a fake tattoo and earring, the joke has been telegraphed long before the CD is in the player. Hey, Pat Boone! We get it! You're not heavy metal! When you croon "Crazy Train" and "Paradise City," you don't rock like Ozzy Osbourne or Axl Rose! You're a square old man! Now, do you actually have to listen to the 53 excruciating, windy, bafflingly overlong minutes of No More Mr. Nice Guy to get the joke You don't! You get it already! Do not let the idiotic "controversy" surrounding Christian backlash against Boone dupe you into buying this profoundly worthless record.