‘You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah’ Review: Sandler Family Values Make for a Wonderfully Endearing Novel Adaptation

The growing pains and dramatic throes of girlhood can be character building, traumatic, and cathartic for both cinematic protagonists and their audience. Its certainly not an easy time for the heroine at the center of You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah, whose impending rite-of-passage ushers in an adulthood shes not quite ready to handle. Director Sammi Cohen and screenwriter Alison Peck bestow this hilarious, heartrending adaptation of Fiona Rosenblooms novel with an uplifting, effervescent vision and vitality, giving voice to a young Jewish girls struggle to figure out who she is before the most important night of her life so far.

Seventh grader Stacy Friedman (Sunny Sandler) is serious about her Bat Mitzvah sorta. Shes put more thought into having a legendary party than studying the ceremonial text from the Torah. She has big dreams for a lavish New York City-themed bash, which would include a yacht on the Hudson River, superstar Olivia Rodrigo arriving on a jet ski to perform and a smooch from her crush Andy Goldfarb (Dylan Hoffman). The reality is Mom and Dad (played by reunited Uncut Gems co-stars Idina Menzel and Adam Sandler) draw a hard line. Shell have to make do with a decorated hotel ballroom, DJ Schmuley (Ido Mosseri) spinning pop songs and no hope of landing a kiss from Andy. At least she can count on her childhood best friend Lydia Rodriguez Katz (Samantha Lorraine) to be at her side or so she thinks.

A dare by the popular squad and a brash bid for Andys attention lands Stacy embarrassed and temporarily on the outs with Lydia. Swallowing her pride, she attends Lydias house party hoping to reconcile. Before she can, however, she finds her ride-or-die bestie making out with her crush. Lydias betrayal sends Stacy spiraling, causing her to do underhanded things, like passive-aggressively poison Andy against his newfound lady love, botch her Mitzvah Project helping the elderly and spitefully splice Lydias upcoming Bat Mitzvah entrance video with humiliating clips (which we just know will come back to haunt her). Stacys changing attitude is also noticed by Rabbi Rebecca (Sarah Sherman), who warns her that she needs to shape up or there will be no party in her future.

Cohen and screenwriter Alison Peck innovatively harness and transform rom-com-inspired story beats (especially in the third act) to tell this relatable tale about self-reflection and self-acceptance. Playing like a cross between Judy Blumes Are You There God? Its Me, Margaret and John Hughes Sixteen Candles in scale, scope and sound without being derivative, its characters, conflicts and conundrums are filled with potent, earned emotions. Sequences portraying a Carnivale-themed BNai Mitzvah for a non-binary teen and a sports-themed Bar Mitzvah for a boy broaden the films spectrum and reach, as sentiments on inclusion and exclusion supplement the larger thematic overtones.

Stacys journey from selfish to selfless is the primary focus. However, its meaningfully balanced with Lydias subtle secondary arc hiding her true wants so she doesnt hurt Stacys feelings, and struggling with her parents divorce. Their friendship is filled with complexity, as both make mistakes and conciliatory overtures, keeping it from devolving into the toxicity of two women sniping at each other like in Bride Wars.

Cohen, who turned in a solid first feature last year with Crush, has a gift for amplifying teenage angst and anxieties in a way that doesnt condescend or pander to its target market, and doesnt offend its adult audience. Cohen continues to mature in visual dexterity, utilizing squeeze zooms, fantastical asides and fluid camera pans to root us in the protagonists psyche. To indicate Stacys world being rattled post-betrayal, cinematographer Ben Hardwicke turns down the brightness on the saturated-color palette almost imperceptibly. Brian Robinsons edits provide a crisp electricity and comedic timing, most notably in the frenzied sequence where Stacy ruthlessly cobbles together Lydias entrance video, overlapping images at a brisk pace. Este Haim and Amanda Yamates score gives scenes warmth and a propulsive drive.

Though Adam Sandler, tackling the role of caring dad, and Jackie Sandler, playing Lydias spendthrift mom, bring a sense of sweetness and amusement, this is really their daughters show. Real life Sandler sisters Sunny and Sadie who plays Stacys sassy yet supportive older sister Ronnie are compelling performers. The camera and dialogue capture the genuine, natural ease of their sisterly bond, whether theyre playfully teasing or placating one another. Sunny is a revelation, nimbly negotiating the quick-shifting tone of the material from silly to sincere. She can toss out a one-liner and flex her skills at slapstick, yet brings an insightful vulnerability to the role of an ordinary girl seeking the extraordinary. Lorraine delivers the goods as her friend-turned-foe with assured earnestness.

It wouldve been nice to spend more screen time with Stacys other friends Nikki (Millie Thorpe) and Tara (Dylan Dash) since they both add a delightful comedic presence, and perhaps less with the running gag of DJ Schmuleys vehicular mishaps. Still, whats there is funny, lovely and surprisingly poignant. Representing the awkwardness that goes along with growing up is a tough feat, but these filmmakers prove themselves capable and clever, and that feels every bit as celebratory as the titular event.

You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah premieres Aug. 25 on Netflix.