The best and worst moments from the 2023 MTV VMAs

Another MTV Video Music Awards has come to a close. MTV has fulfilled its obligation to the music industry for another year and awarded all the current and up-and-coming pop stars of the day their statues. It was a long and unsurprising night, filled with some great performances

and some forgettable ones. The show was so long that there were even

great performances we forgot about. It’s rare for a show so overstuffed to feel so boring, but that’s kind of what happened. The 2023 VMAs was rich with incident, but only some of it was memorable. Luckily, The A.V. Club is here to decide best and worst moments of the night.

In the spirit of the awards, we’re handing out awards for the best and worst moments of the night, sparing you, dear reader, of spending four hours watching an awards show. Where would you be without us

So here they are: The best and worst from the 2023 MTV VMAs.

Best shoulder pads: Demi Lovato

Perhaps paying tribute to the once-in-a-lifetime Talking Heads reunion last night, Demi Levato busted out a David Byrne-esque gigantic leather duster. The impressive shoulder pads must be a reference to Byrne’s big white suit, which Byrne recently admitted should’ve been even bigger. He’s probably feeling the burn after seeing Mc D Love’s floor-length jacket with those hard-edged shoulder pads that could take out enemies attempting to flank Lovato.

Honorable mention: Fall Out Boy

Fall Out Boy’s Pete Wentz and Patrick Stump certainly thought they could out-shoulder pad Demi Lovato, and maybe if they had coordinated with the pop star, they wouldn’t be stuck in second place. Still, the pads were large. We must stan.

Best exit strategy: Olivia Rodrigo

Performing two of her recent pop-punk hits, “vampire” and “get him back!,” Olivia Rodrigo took full advantage of her massive success by switching stages halfway through her performance. As pyrotechnics and fireworks sparked behind her, threatening to set her artificial forest ablaze, a stagehand shepherded Rodrigo to another stage so she could finish her set. It was a nice bit of trickery that gave the set two distinct halves while also giving us the thrill that Rodrigo was in danger. It even scared poor Selena Gomez. In reality, Rodrigo was recreating the music video for “vampire.” The effect worked, providing a real sense of danger and unpredictability in a show crowded with overly planned moments.

Worst ’N Sync reunion: This one

Look, we didn’t expect much. But when MTV announced an ’N Sync reunion, celebrating the 20th anniversary of their “Bye Bye Bye” wins, we hoped we’d at least see them in their marionette poses. It wasn’t in the cards. Joey Fatone got all dolled up to hand Taylor Swift a moon person and bounced. “They’re going to do something, and I need to know what it is,” Taylor Swift yelled. We’d also like to know what ’N Sync is doing.

Worst question: “Are you guys going to do something”

We’re wading into dangerous territory here by criticizing Taylor Swift, but she twice asked her presenters, “You guys are going to do something, right” With all due respect to Ms. Swift, ’N Sync and Timbaland did do something: they handed you your moon people. Don’t remind us that they won’t spend more than a minute on stage. If anyone’s wondering, ‘N Sync is probably doing a thing for another Trolls movie.

Worst suggestion: “Throw some Heinz in that fanny pack.”

The Heinz commercials tonight were already pretty bizarre. The one where a sushi bar diner dips their sashimi in ketchup, followed by a child licking tomato sugar off an ice cream cone, were easily the most disgusting moments of the night. But, in an ad tied into the awards show, viewers were encouraged to carry ketchup packets in their fanny packs. We’ve all been in the position where the only option at a restaurant is Hunts or, worse, “housemade” ketchup, but let’s not get out of control here. No one needs to carry ketchup packets unless they’re angling for a spot on My Strange Addiction.

Best use of the space: Shakira

Shakira, the Video Vanguard award winner, reminded everyone in the audience and at home why she deserved the honor. In a career-spanning performance, Shakira made telling the truth with your hips look easy. Starting from the confines of a massive brutalist cell with a performance of “She Wolf,” Shakira broke free of whatever box MTV put her in. She went across the stage for a rockin’ performance of “Objection” and played a beautiful V-shaped guitar. She danced with daggers before a pulsating rendition of “Hips Don’t Lie.” She even did her infamous zaghrouta tongue trill before donning a fan’s cowboy hat during the world’s most casual crowd surf. Shakira made everyone look like amateurs, which is her wont.

Best flame embroidered JNCOs: Reneé Rapp

The Doritos Extended Play stage is a brutal beat. For the performers stuck on the side stage, like Kaliii and Reneé Rapp, they knew only nostalgia would win the day. Kaliii had her payphones; Rapp had a pair of flame-embroidered JNCOs that would make a Hot Topic manager proud.

Best strobe effect: Stray Kids

Honestly, it’s surprising that this performance didn’t open with a warning. The lighting and effects throughout the evening were impressive but matched with the K-Pop group Stray Kids’ synchronized dance moves, the flashing lights were sensory overload. The crowd, whipped into a frenzy by Stray Kids awesome power, was likely blinded. It didn’t matter. Everyone who saw Stray Kids gladly sacrificed some visual acuity, and they’d probably do it again.

Best admission: Diddy wanted to be a Pittsburgh Steeler

After an intense and exhausting performance of his many hits, Diddy delivered a heartfelt acceptance speech for his Global Icon Award. But it was a moment when he got real and admitted that he wanted to be a Pittsburgh Steeler before becoming a producer and rapper that our ears perked up. Thankfully, he broke his leg, and his dreams were dashed. It’s a fortunate broken bone for the world as we wouldn’t have “Come With Me” without it.

Best audience member: Taylor Swift

You have got to hand it to MTV for making the most of their evening with Taylor Swift. She’s a busy woman, after all. So rather than book her for a performance or ask her to host, MTV had a cameraperson post up right in front of Swift all night. It was the right move. Rather than even humor a lack of Swift, The Taylor Cam cut to the “Anti-Hero” early and often, giving Swifties a whole new host of videos to turn into GIFs. She delivered on all fronts.

Worst decision: Punting most of the technical awards to the creative arts VMAs.

Aside from MTV’s decision to award the only technical trophy of the night to Taylor Swift, audiences were denied a chance to give the winners of Best Cinematography, Best Visual Effects, Best Choreography, Best Art Direction, and Best Editing their flowers. We get it. It’s not the most exciting series of awards for music fans, but there should be a balance in awards shows: equal parts gawking at celebrities and seeing the people who make them look so otherworldly.

Best use of the digital stage: Anitta and Tomorrow X Together

There were a lot of performances on this year’s show. Some might say there were too many, considering the ceremony lasted four hours. But one performance that didn’t disappoint was Anitta and Tomorrow X Together, who used digital projection on the stage floor to perfection. The colorful explosions were excellent, but they saved the best for first, with a rain-slicked stage without fear of slipping. The future is now.

Worst treatment: Rock

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is rock ’n’ roll,” so went the first words ever uttered on MTV. Cut to 2023. The latest MTV VMAs had two rock-based categories, Best Rock and Best Alternative, but neither were given time on the actual show. This is an old complaint as rock music has been slipping from the mainstream since the turn of the millennium, if not earlier. But to paraphrase Airheads, maybe that’s because MTV doesn’t play ‘em, babe. Although, to be fair, MTV was nice enough to let Måneskin and Fall Out Boy perform—just as long as they don’t accept an award on air.

Best comeback: The VMAs thanks to 50 years of hip-hop

Sorry, LL, “comeback” is the only word for the sudden feeling of life in this staid and extremely long award show. There were a lot of performances on tonight’s show, and almost every one of them suffered from the obvious lack of that live feel. We all know these shows feature lots of lip-syncing. Thankfully, the participants in the hip-hop celebration were real ones, and the show took on a much more raw feel. It didn’t hurt that the hip-hop legends like Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five, LL Cool J, Dougie E. Fresh, Slick Rick, Darryl “DMC” McKibbon, Lil Wayne, and Nicki Minaj plowed ahead despite many of the audience seeming a little confused as to who everyone was. Well, aside from Weezy and Barbie. The all-star jam was appropriately sloppy, raspy, and real. It was a welcome change after a whole night of pop perfection.

Worst inevitability: Time

Man, this was a long show, and yet, even with four hours of runway, the show also felt incredibly hurried and overstuffed. There were simply too many performances and very little room to breathe. Apparently, four hours is enough time to forget that Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion performed “Bongos” at the start of the show. We get that most viewers watch the VMAs simultaneously with Subway Surfers speed runs, soap-making videos, and Family Guy clips, but MTV could certainly do more to make the show flow better. Namely, fewer performances.