Y a une fille qu'habite chez moi [English translation]

Several clues have set me thinking

I'm keeping my eyes peeled

I will make an enquiry to be sure

This is troubling me

There's no mistaking the signs

The sheets, quilt and pillowcase

No longer mismatch

Next to my pile of clothes

There are some ironed and folded

There's no mistaking the signs

I think there's a girl living with me

Two toothbrushes in the bathroom

Soap "without soap" and the hairdryer

That is definitely not mine

Some bizarre small balls

For perfuming the bathtub

This is a real nightmare

Someone has massacred all my cockroach friends!

In the kitchen some teabags

Of verbena, chamomile

A message on the answerphone from a mother

Who isn't mine

She's laying into my family now!

There's no mistaking the signs

Someone has traitorously done the dishes

What happened to my routine, my quarterly cleaning?

I open the fridge horrified, this is madness!

There are loads of vegetables!

There is even fruit!

There's no mistaking the signs

There is a girl living with me

Where are my pals that hang around in front of the telly?

The boxes of pizza, the open packets of chips

The butts of cigarettes

Crushed on the plates

My collection of new look? Lost to oblivion!

On the bed table there are no longer condoms but aspirin

There is a girl living with me

There are also candles combatting the odour of nicotine

There is a girl living with me

There's no mistaking the signs

There is a real curtain, no longer a sheet nailed to the window!

What is that, my God? It's a green plant!

The hoover is still warm

This is too much, I am lodging a complaint!

I am going to take it to a lab

To check the fingerprints

We would say that I am no longer a bachelor

The culprit, I give you her

She is before me, the noose is tightening

Holding the telephone, sitting cross-legged

In a pretty flowery dress

A girl tells me "Stop your playacting

And the rent, I pay as much as you!"