Several clues have set me thinking
I’m keeping my eye peeled
I must investigate to be clear in my mind about it
It bothers me
There’s no mistaking the signs
The sheets, quilt and pillowcase
Are no longer unmatched
Next to my gear dumped in a heap
There are clothes ironed and folded
There’s no mistaking the signs
I think there’s a girl in my flat!
Two toothbrushes in the bathroom
Soap without soap and the hairdryer
That’s certainly not mine
Strange little balls
To perfume the bathtub
It’s a nightmare
Someone’s slaughtered my friends the cockroaches!
In the kitchen there’s bags
Of verbena and camomile tea
A message on my answering machine
From a mother that isn’t mine
She’s setting about my family now!
There’s no mistaking the signs
Someone’s traitorously done the dishes
What about my routine? My quarterly cleaning?
I open the fridge. The pits! Sheer madness!
It’s full of veg’!
There’s even fruits!
There’s no mistaking the signs
I think there’s a girl in my flat!