World’s Best Papa lyrics

AMÉLIE, speaking:

On September 3rd, 1975, at 6:28 pm and 32 seconds, a bluebottle fly capable of 14,670 wing beats a minute lands on Rue St. Vincent, Montmartre. At the same moment, a sperm with one X chromosome, belonging to Raphael Poulain, makes a dash for an egg in his wife Amandine. Nine months later... moi

ALL MEN (except RAPHAEL):

Raphael Poulain likes giving salutes

In his army doctor uniform

Always liked the idea of a daughter

RAPHAEL:

But not so sure that I've got one

ALL MEN (except RAPHAEL):

Likes to swim, but dislikes wet swimming suits

Likes to clean and organise his tools

He likes his daughter in theory

But doesn't really like it when he-

RAPHAEL:

Has to touch her

AMÉLIE:

World's best Papa

I used to see it on his coffee cup

And it's not

Just a phrase

Every thirty-one days

He provided a monthly check upheld my hand

Inside of his

Although there was the glove

Every time he came near

I was sure he could hear

My heart filling up with love

(Raphael uses his gloved hand to move Young Amélie’s hand out of the way. We hear Young Amélie’s normal heartbeat.)

ENSEMBLE:

Ba-bum Ba-bum Ba-bum

(Raphael puts the stethoscope on her chest. Her heart races wildly.)

ENSEMBLE:

Baaaaaahh

Bub-ba-bub-ba-bub-baaaaaaaaah

Bub-ba-bub-ba-bub-baaaaaaaaah

Bub-ba-bub-ba-bub-baaaaaaaaah!

Bub-ba-bub-ba-bub-ba!

(Raphael jumps away from his daughter. We hear Young Amélie’s normal heartbeat.)

ENSEMBLE:

Ba-bum Ba-bum Ba-bum

(He listens once more through the stethoscope, and the heartbeat goes wild. Even more excitement!)

ENSEMBLE:

Baaaaaahh

Bub-ba-bub-ba-bub-baaaaaaaaah

Bub-ba-bub-ba-bub-baaaaaaaaah

Bub-ba-bub-ba-bub-baaaaaaaaah!

Bub-ba-bub-ba-bub-ba!

RAPHAEL, spoken:

Amandine!

(Amandine enters.)

GINA, GEORGETTE, SUZANNE:

Amandine Poulain likes the flavour of stamps

Has a nervous twitch around her eye

She likes a bath at bedtime

AMANDINE:

But dislikes when my fingers wrinkle

RAPHAEL:

Our daughter's heart is raving

AMANDINE, speaking:

Mon Dieu!

RAPHAEL:

I fear it might be broken

AMANDINE, spoken:

She’s broken!

RAPHAEL:

I worry that her heart cannot

Handle any situation

AMANDINE, spoken:

What do we do?

RAPHAEL:

We cut all recreation and teach her at home

RAPHAEL & AMANDINE:

We can keep her heartbeat stable

Your school is the kitchen table

RAPHAEL:

Now

AMANDINE:

No need to take the school bus

RAPHAEL:

Just leave it to the two of us

AMANDINE:

No germs or boys or bullies plus

(Raphael places a goldfish in a bowl in front of Young

Amélie.)

RAPHAEL & AMANDINE:

Say hello to your new classmate