Yo, it’s Scrooge, Scrooge
Scrooge is up in here, ho, ho, ho
I wish you a merry crucifixion, I wish you would get a new religion
I wish you a merry crucifixion and a crappy new year
Jesus ain’t nuttin’ but a corpse to me, who is he?
Come over, G, and see a pair of scrotums hanging off the tree
Choke the Messiah, chop off your member
And then I’ll roast your nuts over an open fire
Your gigolo’s big piccolo stick’ll grow
When I’m swappin’ spit with a ho under the mistletoe
Yo, I get under this chick’s clothes
You’ll be one dead slob after your neck’s clogged with eggnog, choke
The night before Christmas, you’re feelin’ the essence
Break in your crib, I got a posse of midgets stealin’ your presents
Right through the chimney, you think we’re rotten
We’re takin’ everything you got, kid, down to every stinky stocking
Robbin’ you in a Santa suit, strippin’ you like a dancer’s boot
Santa Claus is dead, you’ll die from cancer, duke
I’m dreamin’ of a white Christmas, I sniff this eight-ball of coke
Then knock on your door like a Jehovah’s Witness, holdin’ a biscuit
Leave you a bleeding sinner
I’m hunting reindeer, Rudolph will get eaten for dinner
He got a red nose gushing from all the bullet holes
Got a deer cooking, don’t stuff yourself full of rolls
While the world’s infested with diseases
Let’s be happy and kick back and celebrate the death of Jesus
The miracle on 34th Street is now on 42nd Street
Where Mrs. Claus is sucking more meat
To the record’s beat, so suck my candy cane ‘til I need a vasectomy
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse, ‘cause you’re all dead
There’s air in the room but none of you are breathing it out
Merry crucifixion, I wish you would get a new religion
I wish you a merry crucifixion and a crappy new year
I said, violent night, unholy night
On the first day of Christmas, I do white slavery
Your cartilege is teared, G
I’m Scrooge, you all die, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, hoes
WNYU-FM New York