White Dude lyrics

[Hook: Lil Dicky]

And y'ain't even want it with da boy

Cause the way I'm livin life, is a muthafuckin joy

On some grown man B.I.

I could have been a girl

Or any ethnicity up in the world

But I'm rollin with the top back

I ain't gotta worry where the cops at

I ain't gotta wear a fucking bra strap

Me and the crew

Are really doing everything that we like to

Man it's a damn good day to be a white dude

[Verse 1: Lil Dicky]

Shit, I'm living good up in this bitch

Dicky rollin round the city, blowin good up in that wip

I ain't black or Dominican, not Hispanic or Indian

So imprisonment is not a predicament, I envision

For a white boy

Hollatcha muthafuckin kike, boy

Higher than a muthafuckin kite, it's iight boi

They ain't suspicious of jews

I'll show contrition it's cool

Slap on the wrist, get ma daddy to choose

One of them top lawyers dat be rollin round in his crew

I'm eating chop soy and bowlin on a carnival cruise

Das what I do kid

Happy that my name ain't stupid

Dave coulda been Daquan with a few kids

But now I'm farting, overeating at meals,

If ain't I gotta theme party, Ion't be at goodwill

I'm dentist paying, tennis playing, smellin on some cabernet

And I ain't gay but if I was, everything would be okay, look...

I know I'm being condescending in ma rhymes

But ma premium channels mean tyler perry's never live

Getting tickets, they sick, I sit at the eagle 45

Where I'm eating when I'm high's where they eat at to survive (food chainssss)

[Hook]

[Verse 2: Lil Dicky]

Yeah. It's little DI in this bitch ho

Happy that I'm white, but relieved I ain't a chick yo

I never wake up and have to cake on ma make up

Or straighten hair, I ain't given a damn

I'm wearing whatever I wanna in this muthafucka

They up in heels

And tummy tuckin, theyon't grub except for takin them pills, foreal...

And ion't bleach shit

Ion't gotta eat dick

I ain't bleeding up out ma penis

Smoking the weed, ion't fall asleep because I'm cheefing

In disagreements, I participate without weeping

And when I'm freaking, I'm getting daps, high fives, and all that

Ma rep goin up, and at best, ho a slut

So what up

Ya boy cut up

But eat butter

And I ain't gotta speak to ma mother... to still love her

And I been getting better looking with age

But a guy can get who he deserves with a horrible face

Seal interlude

I go on dates, and never have to worry bout getting raped

And I watch a game and never have to worry bout how it's played

And I meet a babe and never have to act deliriously fake

And if impregnate I can pack a back and be on my way, but good luck girl!

[Hook]

[Outro: Lil Dicky]

Yeah... I'm happy as fuck man

First off I'm a dude so

There was a one in two chance of that sucking

But now I can run a seven minute mile

I can defend my self adequately

I can be logical

I can get along with my room-mates

Watch serious movies without being scared by them

And the on top of that I'm white

Which is like, amazing because

Everybody naturally assumes I'm a great person

I get a fair shot at the life I deserve

I mean I could underachieve my way into any college in the country

I get my hair cut at a salon

People hold the door open for me which is nice

Er, I never have to get into a fight, like, for social purposes

And please don't take this as me just disparaging black people

It ain't about that

It's about me being happy that I'm white, know what I'm saying?

But on that note, could someone explain to me why Fat Joe, and any other person of Hispanic descent, is allowed to say the N-word

I mean I guess it's unrelated but like that shit don't make any sense

I've been thinking about that shit a lot

Because like if I could say the N-word, it would really help my rhyme scheme out

It's like the perfect filler word