Вратарь [Vratar'] [English translation]

Yes, today I am on a roll, no two ways about it –

The Moscow crowd is bursting with delight, -

I calmly intercept the passess

And sweep up the dead balls.

Now the referee assigns a penalty to the other side –

The reporters are swarming in a cloud at those gates.

Only one is determined to be bored behind my back –

He will rest superbly today!

Sorry,

now they’re heading them to me…

I make contact –

they pass with a corner kick.

The number ten takes it – it’s a chance for him

to break the zero draw

by a “dry leaf”1 of his own.

The ball is in my hands – the stands are going mad, -

Only the number ten neatly swerved.

Such things have not happened to me for a long time! …

Only behind someone quietly suddenly sighed.

I turned round – I hear a voice behind the cameras:

“Sorry, my friend, but you’ve ruined my shot.

What is it to you – what a pointless time to put your hands to the ball -

But I would have captured a fine goal”.

I wanted to tell him where to go –

that’s not how it went:

I barely managed

to catch the ball.

Then I’d only just managed to pick myself up,

When I hear once more “Not again!

If you catch and stop them all – I won’t get even one!”

“My dear comrade, I understand all that,

But I ask you in a civilized manner: just leave me alone!

Yes, it would suit you better if I played worse

But trust me – It’s not in my power to help you”.

Now the number ten lets fly like a cannon –

The reporter babbles: “Listen, let him score!

I’ll film your whole family for nothing for life…”

The guy is almost crying. What am I to do?

“That’s football”,

I say,

“Every goal’s a knife

Through a goalkeeper’s heart”.

“Let me make a gift to you as goalkeeper

Of my best shot -

Miss, and I’ll bless you!”

I bend like a twig before the pressure of the reporter.

Hesitantly I step up to intercept…

Under my breath, I beg my team-mates

To smash his camera for him.

But on he whimpers, “My friend, this is inhumane –

Of course you could take2 this one, but, if you’ll forgive me,

It’s just a moment, but a photograph is eternal.

Please, not a single move, tear yourself away!”

Number five at twenty two3

Is famous.

He isn’t running, barely even

Tripping along.

Into the right-hand corner4, the ball, ringing -

That is, on my left -

Makes landfall and impudently lies there.

In this half, we were playing against the wind,

So that I couldn’t bring anything off…

I’ve got a snap at home – two by three metres –

As a witness to my shame.

I curse the moment when I obliged the photographer,

You see now I think, when I stop the balls,

How many beautiful photos have been ruined by me!

Shame racks me, even cries.

Tempter-serpent, executioner!

How am I to live?!

As every ball tugs

To be let through.

I struggle with myself every match

It’s clear this is my fate...

Hold on, here comes a corner.

1. A Russian footballing term meaning a goal scored with a direct kick from the corner2. Should be взять, not взать3. Should be двадцать, not вдадцать4. Should be В правый, not И