[Cheloo]
*Honored audience members,
This is an exercise of imagination,
And that's all.
Don't try these mixes at home
Or in any other part of the planet.*
Don't combine the study of the Bible with mushrooms and cocaine
And don't read behind the wheel if you're drunk and driving the car.
Are you faint-hearted? Don't combine TNT with shit
'Cause you'll get to heaven disoriented and unclean.
Are you insane?! I don't know how to tell you, it ain't cool
To do aerobics on heavy metal at a funeral.
Don't combine a porcupine with an inflatable woman, be it a smart one,
It's not a lasting relationship, and someone will get stung1.
My saying is like the new boat that's taking water, fuck it. Anyway
It's hard to find a good mix.
Don't combine laxatives with beer when you take the oral exam
'Cause you'll get to think hard and you'll shit on the school.
Things can get ugly if you have a blind person shoot a gun
Or if you have a deaf person with no limbs sound the alarm.
How can I tell you that it'll surely blow up in your face
If you put a depressed psychopath in charge of guarding a bomb?
Maybe I'm a blockhead and I express myself clumsily, fuck it. Anyway
It's hard to find a good mix.
Don't combine a broken condom with the wife and a random friend
'Cause the bed will be creaking when you go to sleep. *I wonder...*
Is it advisable to put poison in the food?
Who cares? Anyway
It's hard to find a good mix.
[Ombladon]
It's hard to find a good mix.
Hey kid, come here, daddy's gonna show you what he put under the Christmas Tree!
Made from a button, a bell, a boy who's crazy about boys,
I bring you a delicate mix: buttfucker with a buzzer.
A doorknob2, a fistful of coins, a lady on high heels,
And we have a blowjob jukebox without morals or whims.
A dental prosthesis, four ball bearings and a little dress with tassels,
We have Dracula on roller skates, playing tricks.
I poured a shitload of complexes over a cow
And now, regretfully, I present you your mother. *I'm sorry.*
From The People's House3 and Europe, mixed in a mug,
We have a crappy single room in a fringe neighborhood.
I take another puff from a shitty joint with weed and tobacco,
Listen to what I tell you, it's hard to find a good mix.
I continue doing tests and I put a constipated man over a broken clock,
And a shit bomb is about to explode.
Run away from under the fir tree, kid, 'cause I was uninspired! Anyway
It's hard to find a good mix.
1. Clever use of language here: the original Romanian expression translates literally as "to get a spike (unto oneself)", and it can mean "to get scammed", "to get shafted", "to get screwed (over)" and even "to get cheated on" etc.2. In Romanian slang, doorknob means blowjob.3. The People's House, also known as the Palace of the Parliament, is the heaviest building in the world and is the seat of the Parliament of Romania.