Monday night I staggered home,
from another drunken row
And i see a mantle in the hall,
where my mantle used to go
I tell my wife: Hey wife, there's just
one thing that grieves me so
Why'se there a mantle in the hall,
where my mantle used to go ?
O you drunken-drunken-drunken sod
when will you finally see ?
Ain't nothing but the patchwork rag
my mother gave to me
Alas I travelled land and sea,
and will for many more
But a blanket with a collar, well
I've never seen before.
Tuesday night I staggered home,
from another drunken row
And a pocket watch sits on the table,
where my watch used to go
I tell my wife, Hey wife,
there's just one thing that grieves me so
Why's there a pocket watch on the table,
where my watch used to go ?
O you drunken-drunken-drunken sod
when will you finally see ?
That's just a can of lighter-gas,
my mother gave to me
Alas I travelled land and sea,
and will for many more
But Lighter fluid that goes tick-tock,
I've never seen before
Wednesday night I staggered home,
from another drunken row
And there's a pipe in my ashtray,
where my pipe used to go
I tell my wife, Hey wife,
there's just one thing that grieves me so
Why'se there a pipe in my ashtray,
where my pipe used to go ?
O you drunken-drunken-drunken sod
when will you finally see ?
That's just a penny whistle that,
my mother gave to me
Alas I travelled land and sea,
and will for many more
But a penny whistle that smells so groce,
I've never seen before
Thursday night I staggered home,
from another drunken row
And there's some boots right by my bed,
where my boots used to go
I tell my wife, Hey wife,
there's just one thing that grieves me so
Why's there those boots right by my bed,
where my boots used to go ?
O you drunken-drunken-drunken sod
when will you finally see ?
That's just a can of Plumpudding,
my mother gave to me
Alas I travelled land and sea,
and will for many more
But a leather-soled black plumpudding,
I've never seen before
Friday night I staggered home,
from another drunken row
And on me pillow there's a head,
where my head used to go
I tell my wife, Hey wife,
there's just one thing that grieves me so
Why's there a head right in my bed,
where my head used to go ?
O you drunken-drunken-drunken sod
when will you finally see ?
That's just my teenage negro doll, (1)
my mother gave to me
Alas I travelled land and sea,
and will for many more
But a negro doll climb down a wall,
I've never seen before