Town Meeting Song lyrics

Listen, there were objects so peculiar

They were not to be believed

All around, things to tantalize my brain

It's a world unlike anything I've ever seen

And as hard as I try

I can't seem to describe

Like a most improbable dream !

But you must believe when I tell you this :

It's as real as my skull and it does exist !

Here, let me show you :

This is a thing called a present

The whole thing starts with a box

- A box?

- is it steel?

- Are there locks?

- Is it filled with a pox?

- A pox

- How delightful, a pox

- If you please

Just a box with bright-colored paper

And the whole thing's topped with a bow

- A bow?

- But why?

- How ugly

- What's in it?

- What's in it?

- That's the point of the thing, not to know

- It's a bat

- Will it bend?

- It's a rat

- Will it break?

- Perhaps it's the head that I found in the lake

Listen now, you don't understand

That's not the point of Christmas land

Now, pay attention :

Now we pick up an oversized sock

And hang it like this on the wall

- Oh, yes! Does it still have a foot?

- Let me see, let me look

- Is it rotted and covered with gook?

- Hmm, let me explain

There's no foot inside, but there's candy

Or sometimes it's filled with small toys

- Small toys

- Do they bite?

- Do they snap?

- Or explode in a sack?

- Or perhaps they just spring out and scare girls and boys

- What a splendid idea

This Christmas sounds fun

Why, I fully endorse it

Let's try it at once

Everyone, please now, not so fast

There's something here that you don't quite grasp

Well, I may as well give them what they want

And the best, I must confess, I have saved for the last

For the ruler of this Christmas land

Is a fearsome king with a deep mighty voice

Least that's what I've come to understand

And I've also heard it told

That he's something to behold

Like a lobster, huge and red

And sets out to slay with his rain gear on

Carting bulging sacks with his big great arms

That is, so I've heard it said

And on a dark, cold night

Under full moonlight

He flies into a fog

Like a vulture in the sky

And they call him Sandy Claws

Well, at least they're excited

Though they don't understand

That special kind of feeling in Christmas land

Oh, well...