To Keep my Love alive lyrics

I married many men, a ton of them

Because I was untrue to none of them

Because I bumped off every one of them

To keep my love alive

Sir Paul was frail, he looked a wreck to me

At night he was a horse's neck to me

So I performed an appendectomy

To keep my love alive

Sir Thomas had insomnia, he couldn't sleep at night

I bought a little arsenic, he's sleeping now all right

Sir Philip played the harp, I cussed the thing

I crowned him with his harp to bust the thing

And now he plays where harps are just the thing

To keep my love alive

To keep my love alive

I thought Sir George had possibilities

But his flirtations made me ill at ease

And when I'm ill at ease, I kill at ease

To keep my love alive

Sir Charles came from a sanitorium

And yelled for drinks in my emporium

I mixed one drink, he's in memorium

To keep my love alive

Sir Francis was a singing bird,

A nightingale, that's why

I tossed him off my balcony

To see if he, could fly

Sir Atherton indulged in fratricide

He killed his dad and that was patricide

One night I stabbed him by my mattress-side

To keep my love alive

To keep my love alive