I was talking for three days
Headed for England
Just to make the swinging scene
When my raft got blown up
Torpedoed by an Eskimo submarine
I swam for three days
I swam for three nights
I finally rested upon a log
When I bumped head on into a easy fish
Was lost upon the fog
I told a my hard luck story
And at the raft I was the skipper
He said: "Mop an aboard"
I'm goin' take you to share
On the friendly Dolphin flipper
Well, he flipped his real to me
And all couldn't be as fine
Everytime I thought about it
I nearly blew my mine
It was in about three days travelling time
We finally made it to the shore
I handed him a five dollar bill
He replied: "Man, what's this for?"
I said I'm awfully sorry man
Wish I could have paid you more
He said: "That's quite all right
I understand me fish bean underpaid before"
I don't need your five dollar bill man
And I know just where it's been
Can't you see I'm a fish man
Don't need another fin
Just then I rode off his back
And I swam three hundred feet to land
And I saw him wave goodbye with his fin
He did that because he did not have a hand
Well, I was kinda shook up at the whole scene
I didn't really know where it was it
But thirsty natives were chasing me
And I did not fancy that
So I ran up the side of the mountain
And I rested beneath the tree
When I woke up Rip Van Wrinkle he smiled
And said: "How are we"
I ask him where his phone was
And it really was true
He said: "Yes, the phone is just around the corner"
It's red, white and blue
Well, just then he shook my hand
I started running for his life
And I heard him say as he left me
He said he had a nagging wife
I was shimmied upside the coconut tree
To see the pay-phone
When I discovered I'd dialled the wrong number
And my phone dime was gone
So I decided it was about time to move on
And I climbed down from the tree
Well, there were thirty natives
And they were down at the bottom all looking up at me
They told me to come on down
Because this just wanted to use their phone
And if I come down in a hurry
They were going to help me find my home
So like a fool I believed them
And I come down from the tree
And really Saint Peter that's exactly
What happened to me
That's all man!!!