The Night Santa Went Crazy lyrics

Down in the workshop

All the elves were makin' toys

For the good gentile girls

And the good gentile boys

When the boss busted in,

Nearly scared 'em half to death

Had a rifle in his hands

And cheap whiskey on his breath

From his beard to his boots

He was covered with ammo

Like a big, fat, drunk, disgruntled Yuletide Rambo

And he smiled as he said

With a twinkle in his eye,

"Merry Christmas to all.

Now you're all gonna die!"

The night Santa went crazy

The night St. Nick went insane

Realized he'd been gettin' the raw deal

Something finally must have snapped in his brain

Well, the workshop is gone now,

He decided to bomb it

Everywhere you'll find pieces

Of Cupid and Comet

And he tied up his helpers

And he held the elves hostage

And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage

He got Dancer and Prancer

With an old German Luger

And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger

And he picked up a flamethrower

And he barbequed Blitzen

And he took a big bite and said,

"It tastes just like chicken!"

The night Santa went crazy

The night Kris Kringle went nuts

Now you can't hardly walk around the North Pole

Without steppin' in reindeer guts

There's the National Guard and the F.B.I.

There's a van from the Eyewitness News

And helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky

And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin'

And everyone's dyin' to know, oh Santa, why?

My my my my my my

You used to be such a jolly guy

Yes, Virginia, now Santa's doin' time

In a federal prison for his infamous crime

Hey, little friend, now don't you cry no more tears

He'll be out with good behavior in 700 more years

But now Vixen's in therapy and Donner's still nervous

And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service

And they say Mrs. Claus,

She's on the phone every night

With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights

They're talkin' bout - the night Santa went crazy

The night St. Nicholas flipped

Broke his back for some milk and cookies

Sounds to me like he was kinda gettin' gypped

Whoa, the night Santa went crazy

The night St. Nick went insane

Realized he'd been gettin' the raw deal

Something finally must have snapped in his brain

Whoa, something finally must have snapped in his brain

Tell ya, something finally must have snapped...in his brain