[JOANNE]
I'd like to propose a toast...
1 Here's to the ladies who lunch—
Everybody laugh
Lounging in their caftans
And planning a brunch
On their own behalf
Off to the gym
Then to a fitting
Claiming they're fat
And looking grim
'Cause they've been sitting
Choosing a hat
Does anyone still wear a hat?
I'll drink to that
2 And here's to the girls who stay smart —
Aren't they a gas?
Rushing to their classes in optical art,
Wishing it would pass
Another long exhausting day
Another thousand dollars
A matinée, a Pinter play
Perhaps a piece of Mahler's
I'll drink to that
And one for Mahler!
3 And here's to the girls who play wife —
Aren't they too much?
Keeping house but clutching a copy of "Life"
Just to keep in touch
The ones who follow the rules
And meet themselves at the schools
Too busy to know that they're fools
Aren't they a gem?
I'll drink to them!
Let's all drink to them!
4 And here's to the girls who just watch —
Aren't they the best?
When they get depressed
It's a bottle of Scotch
Plus a little jest
Another chance to disapprove
Another brilliant zinger
Another reason not to move
Another vodka stinger
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!
I'll drink to that
5 So here's to the girls on the go —
Everybody tries
Look into their eyes
And you'll see what they know:
Everybody dies
A toast to that invincible bunch
The dinosaurs surviving the crunch.
Let's hear it for the ladies who lunch —
Everybody rise!
Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise!
Rise!