The Contest lyrics

[Pirelli:]

I... am Adolfo Pirelli,

The king of da* barbers, da barber of kings!

Eh, buongiorno, good day!

I blow you a kiss!

And I... the so-famous Pirelli,

I wish-a to know-a

Who has-a da nerve-a to say...

My elixir is piss?

Who says this?

[Sweeney:]

I do.

I’m Mr. Sweeney Todd, of Fleet Street.

I have opened a bottle of Pirelli’s Elixir,

And I say to you,

That is nothing but an arrant fraud

Concocted from piss and ink.

Furthermore, signor

I have serviced no kings,

Yet I’ll wager that I can shave a cheek

With ten times more dexterity

Than any street mountebank.

[Pirelli:]

You hear this foolish man.

Now please, you will see,

How he will-a regret-a his-a folly!

[Sweeney:]

Who’s for a free shave?

Will Beadle Bamford be the judge?

[Beadle:]

Glad as always to oblige my friends and neighbours…

The fastest, smoothest shave, is the winner!

[Pirelli:]

Now, signorini, signori,

We mix-a da lather

But first you gather around.

Signorini, signori,

You looking a man

Who have had-a da glory to shave-a da Pope!

“Mister Sweeney-Whoever”,

I beg-a your pardon

You’ll probably say it was only a cardinal

Nope!

It was-a da Pope!

To shave-a da face

To cut-a da hair

Require a grace

Require da flair

For if-a you slip

You nick da skin

You clip-a da chin

You rip-a da lip a bit

Beyond-a repair!

To shave-a da face

Or even a part

Without da smart

Require the heart

Not just-a da flash

It take-a panache

It take-a da passion for da art!

To shave-a da face

To trim-a da beard

To make-a da bristle

Clean like a whistle

This is from early infancy

The talent given to me by God!

It take-a da skill

It take-a da brains

It take-a da will

To take-a da pains

It take-a da pace

It take-a da

Grace!!!

[Beadle:]

The winner is Todd!