[MARVIN]
That's the king. Treat him nice
Use some brains; now protect him
[WHIZZER]
Yes, I know. Here I go
[MARVIN]
Play the game
[WHIZZER]
Please, don't watch me
I can do it!
[MARVIN]
Have a little scotch
[WHIZZER]
Shit, I blew it
Maybe you could show me where
I fear I've lost my head
[MARVIN]
Do you want my help?
[WHIZZER]
No, I don't
I can think it through myself
[MARVIN]
Start again. We've seen the worst
[WHIZZER]
I'll go first
[MARVIN]
Move a pawn
[WHIZZER]
No, sir
[MARVIN]
Move
[WHIZZER]
Where?
[MARVIN]
There
[WHIZZER]
Here?
[MARVIN]
Move a pawn
[WHIZZER]
Who?
[MARVIN]
Not the queen
[WHIZZER]
Who?
[MARVIN]
Jesus
[MARVIN & WHIZZER]
Life's a sham and
Every move is wrong
We've examined
Every move as we move along
[MARVIN]
Winning is everything to me
[WHIZZER]
Nothing is everything to me
[MARVIN]
Winning is everything to me
[WHIZZER]
Nothing is everything to me
Except sex...
[MARVIN]
Move the pawn
[WHIZZER]
And money
[MARVIN]
Good first move
[WHIZZER]
Quite alright
Take a turn
[MARVIN]
Thank you kindly
[WHIZZER]
Move the pawn
Move the pawn
Take my hand
Play the game
[MARVIN]
God you're pretty
[WHIZZER]
Ah, more's the pity
Since you need a man
[MARVIN]
What?
[WHIZZER]
Who's brainy
[MARVIN]
Or
[MARVIN & WHIZZER]
Witty
[MARVIN]
Move
[WHIZZER]
What should I do now?
[MARVIN]
Move
[WHIZZER]
Where?
[MARVIN]
There
[WHIZZER]
How should I behave myself?
Maybe we should call it quits
[MARVIN]
This game shits
[WHIZZER]
Let me win
[MARVIN]
Yes, sir
[WHIZZER]
Please
[MARVIN]
Yes
[WHIZZER]
Thanks
[MARVIN]
Wait!
[WHIZZER]
Whizzer wins!
[MARVIN]
Wait!
[WHIZZER]
Whizzer wins!
[MARVIN]
Wait!
[WHIZZER]
Checkmate!
[MARVIN & WHIZZER]
Life's a sham and every move is wrong
We've examined every move as we move along
[WHIZZER]
What?
Marvin!
Whizzer's supposed to make the dinner
Be a patsy, lose at chess
Always bravely acquiesce
Clip the coupons, make the dinner
And love him
This has got to come to a stop, Marvin
[MARVIN]
This had got to come to a stop, Whizzer
[WHIZZER]
This has been a lousy but
[WHIZZER & MARVIN]
Fabulous flop
[MARVIN]
Anyone understand?
All I want's a kiss
Anyone understand?
[WHIZZER]
Don't start explaining
I'm sick of explaining
[MARVIN AND WHIZZER]
And this had better come to a stop
Whizzer Marvin
Now, Whizzer Marvin
Ciao, Whizzer Marvin
Bend
This had better come
This had better come to a
This, this, this, this
[WHIZZER]
This had better come to an end
[MARVIN]
This had better come to an end
[MARVIN & WHIZZER]
This had better come to an end