The Baseball Game [Italian translation]

[MARVIN, TRINA, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA]

We’re sitting

And watching Jason play baseball

We’re watching Jason play baseball!

We’re watching Jewish boys

Who cannot play baseball, play baseball!

We’re watching Jewish boys

Who cannot play baseball play

[MARVIN]

I hate baseball, I really do!

Unlike the rest of you

I hate baseball!

[CHARLOTTE AND CORDELIA]

We really wish he’d take this more seriously!

[MENDEL]

It's weird how he swings the bat!

[MARVIN]

It’s weird how he swings the bat

And why does he have to throw like that?

[MARVIN, TRINA, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA]

We’re sitting

And watching Jason make errors

The most pathetical errors!

We’re watching Jewish boys

Who almost read Latin

Up, battin’

And battin’ bad!

[MENDEL]

Remember Sandy Koufax!

You can do it if you wanna do it!

Take heart from Hank Greenberg!

It's not genetic

Even you can be copacetic!

I think, I think

I think you can, I think you can!

[MARVIN, TRINA, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA]

We’re sitting

And watching Jason play baseball

We’re watching Jason play baseball!

We’re watching Jewish boys

We’re watching Jewish boys

We’re watching-

Slide, Jason

Slide, Jason!

Slide!

[MARVIN]

What is he doing here?

[TRINA]

What are you doing here?

[WHIZZER]

Jason asked me to come

Since he asked me to come, I came

[TRINA]

Just what I wanted at a Little League game

My ex-husband’s ex-lover!

Isn’t that what every mother dreams about

Having at a Little League game?

[MENDEL]

Looking at Whizzer is like eating trayf

[CORDELIA]

The kid was out!

[CHARLOTTE]

The kid was safe!

[CORDELIA]

The kid was out!

[CHARLOTTE]

The kid was safe!

[WHIZZER]

Hey!

I love baseball

I love Jason

That’s what I’m doing here

[CHARLOTTE]

Hey, where the hell did they get that umpire?!

[MARVIN]

Look who’s here

Say hello

[WHIZZER]

Hello

[MARVIN]

You’re looking sweeter than a donut

[WHIZZER]

Marvin

[MARVIN]

Whizzer

[WHIZZER]

Is he still queer?

[MARVIN]

Am I queer?

[TRINA]

I don’t know!

[MENDEL]

Does it matter?

[MARVIN]

It’s been so long since I could tell

Sit in front of me

I wanna see the bald spot!

C’mon, c’mon

Move in front of me

It gives me pleasure to see the bald spot!

Since it’s the only

Physical imperfection that you've got

I wanna see it!

I wanna touch it!

I wanna run my hands through it!

[WHIZZER, TRINA, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA]

We’re sitting

And watch the kid as he misses!

We’re watching Marvin throw kisses

We’re watching sixty-seven pounders

Watching Jewish boys miss grounders

[MARVIN, WHIZZER, TRINA, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA]

Watching boys field, boys bat

Boys miss, boys bat-

Watching Jason on deck

Swinging the bat!

[WHIZZER]

Hey, Jason

[JASON]

Oh, hi, Whizzer! Glad you came!

[WHIZZER]

Keep your head in the box

Don’t think of a thing

Keep your head in the box

Your eye on the ball

Take a breath, then let it out

And swing!

[MARVIN, WHIZZER, TRINA, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA]

Keep your head in the box

Don’t think of a thing

Keep your head in the box

Your eye on the ball

Take a breath, then let it out

And swing!

[WHIZZER]

Okay, go get 'em!

[MARVIN]

Even bald, he looks good

[WHIZZER]

Just remember he’s psychotic

[MARVIN]

He looks damn good, but he’s cheap as dirt

[WHIZZER]

Even maniacs can charm

Which he does, so beware

[MARVIN]

And just be careful

[WHIZZER]

When he smiles that smile, avoid him

Or else sound the alert!

[MARVIN]

Whizzer?

[WHIZZER]

Marvin?

[MARVIN]

Think there's any hope for the kid?

[WHIZZER]

I love Jason, but this is not his venue

[MARVIN AND WHIZZER]

How could I know, without him

My life would be boring as shit?

[WHIZZER]

Jason! You gotta stand a little closer to the plate!

[MARVIN]

Oh, yes, it is

He’s gonna be hit by the ball!

[MARVIN AND WHIZZER]

Please, God, don’t let me make the same mistake!

[MARVIN, WHIZZER, TRINA, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA]

We’re sitting

And watching Jason, the batter!

We know our cheering won’t matter!

It is the very final inning

And the other team is winning

And there’s two outs, two strikes

But the bases are loaded and-

[MARVIN]

Would it be possible to see you, or to kiss you

Or to give you a call?

[WHIZZER, TRINA, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA]

Anything’s possible

[MARVIN, WHIZZER, TRINA, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA]

Jason

Hit the ball!

Run!