The Bantam Cock lyrics

He was a fine upstanding bantam-cock

So brisk, and stiff, and spry...

With a springy step, and a jaunty plume

And a purposeful look in his eye

In his little black laughing eye!

So I took him to the coop and introduced him to

My seventeen wide-eyed hens

And he tupped and he tupped as a hero tupps

And he bowed to them all, and then

He up and took 'em all again!

Well then upon the peace of my ducks and geese

He boldly did intrude

And with glazed eyes and opened mouths

They bore him with fortitude...

And a little bit of gratitude!

He jumped my giggling guinea-fowl!

He thrust his attentions upon

ME twenty hysterical turkeys

And a visiting migrant swan!

And the bantam thundered on!

He groped my fan-tail pigeon doves

And my lily-white Columbine

And as I was a lockin' at me budgerigar

He jumped my parrot from behind!

He was sittin' on me shoulder at the time!

But all of a sudden, with a gasp and a gulp

He clapped his wings to his head!

He lay flat on his back with his feet in the air;

My bantam-cock was dead!

And the vultures circled overhead!

What a noble beast!

What a champion cock!

What a way to live and die!

But as I dug him a grave to protect his bones

From those hungry buzzards in the sky

The bantam opened up a sley little eye!

He gave me a wink, and a terrible grin

The way that rapists do....

He said, "Do you see them silly daft buggers up there?

They'll be down in a minnit 'er two!

They'll be down in a minnit 'er two!"