Soul Suckin' Jerk [Version 1] lyrics

I'm standing right here with a beer in my hand

And my mouth is full of sand and I don't understand

Big fat fingers pointing into my face

Telling me to get busy cleaning up this place

Fourteen days, I been sleeping in a barn

Better get a paycheck tattooed on my arm

Whistling Dixie with the Dixie cup filled

With the barbecue sauce and the dental floss chilled

I got bent like a wet cigarette

And she's coming after me with a butterfly net

Riding on a bloodhound, ringing a bell

Black cat wrapped and I'm rolling up a hill

Pencil in my leg and I'm trying not to beg

Taking turns breaking words with the bacon and eggs

Now they got me in a birdcage flapping my jaw

Like a pretzel in the stars just waiting to fall

So give me what I got to get so I can go

'Cause I ain't washing dishes in a ditch no more

'Cause I ain't gonna work for no soul-suckin jerk

I'm gonna take it all back and I ain't sayin' jack

'Cause I ain't gonna work for no soul-suckin jerk

I'm gonna take it all back and I ain't sayin' jack

You know it! (That's right)

Rockin' the town like a mouldy crouton

(Flying through the air with grease)

I got a job making money for the man

Throwing chicken in a bucket with a soda pop can

Puke-green uniform on my back

I had to set it on fire in a vat of chicken fat

I leaped on the counter like a bird with no hair

Running through the minimall in my underwear

I got lost downtown, couldn't find a ride home

The sun went down, I got frozen to the bone

'Til a hooker let me share her fake fur coat

As I took a little nap, the cops picked up this fool

I tried to explain I was only trying to get warm

I knew I never ever should have burned my uniform

He said, "Too bad, better bite the bullet hard, son."

I didn't have no teeth, so I stole his gun

And I crawled out the window with my shadow and a spoon

Dancing on the roof, shooting holes in the moon

Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah