I was an ugly guy in our village,
Nature didn't give me any man's beauty,
When my parents were making me,
My father had been much drunk as a pig.
And I was born lame and humpbacked,
I have had a crooked mouth and a hunchbacked head,
When I went to work or home,
All hillbillies usually laughed at me.
(INTERLUDE)
In my kolkhoz, I worked a cattleman,
Cows were crazy about me,
Because I loved my dear cows,
I cared for them, and I fed them on time.
And I spent the nights with my cows on the farm,
I had sex with every my cow,
What could I do if I was ugly
And girls always ran away from me?
Oh, you, my dear cows!
I carefully milked you by your tits,
When I gave peace to my soul with any cow,
This cow was better for me than any woman.
(INTERLUDE)
(SOLO)
A had my own harem like a sultan,
I had sex with the cows, and it was fine for me,
For doing it, I set a stool behind a cow
And gave pleasure to all the cows.
But my intimate life was short,
One day, the chairman caught me red-handed.
There is the Article for it in the Criminal Code,
And I will go to prison.
Now the prison is my home,
And cows can't write me a letter,
Now bulls fuck my cows,
And I masturbate with my fists.