Silly Slang Song lyrics

Do you remember the day when, if you said that you were gay,1

it meant with joy you could sing and shout?

A fairy was enchanting and dressing up and camping2

was something you did with the scouts.

That carefree age when an urgent case of aids

was powdered milk we sent to the Sahara.

A fruit was something nice to eat, a pouf was something for your feet,3

and a queen was an old tart in a tiara.4

Ah, look what we’ve done to the old mother tongue,

it’s a crime the way we’ve misused it.

It’s been totally tis woggled, crumb and blonged and golly woggled,

and we’ve strangled, frangled, mangled and abused it.

Ah, those far off times when a bong meant a chime,5

and a buzz was a noise insectidal.6

A joint was something between bones, and getting really stoned7

only happened to bad people in the Bible.

When, if you had a bad trip, it meant you fell and broke your hip.8

Cold turkey just meant Christmas at aunt Dottie’s.9

Coke was something that you burned, smack was something that you earned10

from your mumzie wumzie when you had been naughty.

Ah, look what we’ve done to the old mother tongue,

it’s a crime the way we’ve misused it.

It’s been totally tis woggled, crumbed and blonged and golly woggled

and we’ve strangled, frangled, mangled and abused it.

The years have gone, I’m afraid, when only eggs got laid,11

and only the rhinoceros got horny.12

Only kangaroos jumped and only camels humped,13

getting stuffed meant a little taxidermy.14

Swinging was for trapezes or Tarzan’s chimpazees.15

Tossing off was something Scotland did with cabers.16

Now it means something quite obscene,

and a heavy ugly scene is any movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Ah, look what we’ve done to the old mother tongue,

it’s a crime the way we’ve misused it.

It’s been totally tis woggled, crumbed and blonged and golly woggled

and we’ve strangled, frangled, mangled and abused it.

Look what we’ve done to the old mother tongue,

it’s a crime the way we’ve misused it.

It’s been totally tis woggled, crumbed and blonged and golly woggled

and we’ve strangled, frangled, mangled and abused it.

17

They’re only words, and words are what we use

when we’ve got sod all to say.

1. gay = joyful, jolly, happy.2. fairy = homosexual.

camp = behave in an effeminate manner.3. fruit, pouf, poof = homosexual.

pouf = stuffed stool to place your feet on while sitting in an armchair.4. queen = homosexual.

tart = bitch.5. bong = metallic plate hit with a hammer, to produce a sound.

bong = water smoking pipe used to smoke soft drugs.6. Buzz = brand of insect repellent.

buzz = the euphoric sensation felt after taking drugs.7. joint = hashish; spliff.

get stoned = get killed by the crowd by throwing stones. It was a common capital punishment in the Bible, against sinners.

get stoned = get really high after taking drugs, get really drunk, get wasted.8. trip = an imaginary ‟journey” due to allucinations caused by drugs.9. cold turkey = the act of suddenly quitting doing drugs, either because you can’t buy it or you want to try and quit.10. coke = coal variety.

coke = cocaine.

smack = heroine.11. get laid = have sex.12. horny = sexually aroused.13. jump, hump = have sex.14. get stuffed = (for a woman) have sex.15. swing = have sex.16. toss off = perform male masturbation.

toss off = Scotland sport in which participants throw a tree trunk (‟caber”) as far as they can.17. These lines are a mangling of the song Words by the Bee Gees:

‟It’s only words, and words are all I have

to take your heart away”