1
«Okay everyone,
welcome to grammar class.
Today, we’re learning about semicolons.»
‹Oh, oh, oh!›
«Yes, Lonely Island?»
‹We use semicolons everyday.›
«Can you give me an example?»
‹Oh, hell yeah!›
Get ready for a whale of a time; Shamu.
My whole team coming clean; shampoo.
These dudes is comic relief; Whoopie.
And I’m the motherfucking monster; cookie.
When you see me better cross the street; Frogger.
Then go home and write about it; blogger.
‟Did I do that?”; Urkel.
‟Yo Angela, who’s the boss?”; Merkel.
I’ll take you where you’ve never been; Oxnard.
Then make you suck a bull’s nut; ox nard.
If Miss Moore married Josh; Demi Brolin.
A comma and a fucking dot; semicolon.
We run these streets; stop lights.
All eyes on me; spot lights.
Each semicolon brings us closer to the top.
I’m loud and I’m zipping around; jet ski.
Your dick is little like Wayne; Gretzky.
But Gretzky’s got a big dick; clarification.
Everyone was rude to me; Paris vacation.
My stomach’s getting fat; food.
Leave trash inside my car; rude.
You’re acting all Mach-ee-o; Ralph.
But I’ll eat all you cats; Alf.
We run the game; umpire.
Always chase the night; young squire.
These semicolons are my light inside the dark.
It’s right under your nose semicolon mouth.
Opposite of north semicolon south.
Right over your home semicolon attic.
Hooked on semicolons semicolon addict.
We got the game on lock; toy chest.
You’re too big for your clothes; boys’ vest.
You know we out of control; no brakes.
Your birthday party sucked; no cakes.
When it comes to punctuation.
you know we’re number one.
And to the people of every nation;
feel the power of the semicolon.
‹Semicolons, we rest our case.›
«No; actually, those are examples of colons.2
You all get F’s.»
‹Wait, what?›
1. Hashtag rap is a style of rap in which lines are usually made of a a metaphor, a pause, and then a one-word punchline.2. Of course all those semicolons in the lyrics should actually be colons (these lyrics contain no legit semicolon).
But that would be quite confusing and would spoil the song.