Secondary Waltz lyrics

The school Christmas party is coming,

We ain't doing rugby no more.

McIntyre's teaching us waltzing

Out on the gymnasium floor,

Out on the gymnasium floor.

McIntyre's out of the army,

You'll be slippered if you get it wrong,

And MacIntyre's din

Booms loud in the gym,

And we've only got our little shorts on,

We've only got our little shorts on.

And it's one, two, three, two, two -

We're all a disgrace,

McIntyre tore us apart.

And we danced with ourselves

When we'd all found a space,

Waltzing with fear in our hearts,

Waltzing with fear in our hearts.

Comes the day of the final manoeuvres,

All of our heads are a whirl.

It's getting much closer to D-day,

This time we're going to do it with girls,

This time we're going to do it with girls.

In the arena the ladies were waiting

A twelve year-old partner to guide.

Some matches were fixed,

The rest of us mixed,

And a fat girl got left at the side,

A fat girl got left at the side.

And it's one, two, three, two, two -

We're all a disgrace,

McIntyre tore us apart.

And we danced with ourselves

When we'd all found a space,

Waltzing with fear in our hearts,

Waltzing with fear in our hearts.

When you come to my fights

And I'm under the lights,

And you see that my footwork is false,

Don't count me out

At the start of the bout,

I'm just doing the Secondary Waltz,

Doing the Secondary Waltz.