They say about me,
They say about me,
They say that I’m a scarecrow,
That I walk like some cheap dandy
And that though my legs are bandy
I move like a sleazy fox,
That I’m like a brontosaurus,
That my pointy nose is bigger,
That I’m not helped by my figure
And my mouth is like a box.
If I chat with Lou, with Pete or with John,
The others will talk about how I am
They analyze if my waistline is gone,
They watch if I come or stay there or scram.
They say a lot of things but
Most of them are pretty silly.
When they think of me then willy-
Nilly they all lose their head
I know that many
who will scorn my company will
Sigh for me and shiver
when they think my love is their reward.
And more than one melts when I sigh
and when I just give him a look
he’ll just be standing there
and puffing like a Ford.
If I’m a sight, let’s say it’s so,
Though I’m not even sure of that,
But when it comes to love, I know,
That many a fool I have left flat.
Maybe they’ll talk, maybe they’ll say,
Maybe they’ll hiss, maybe they’ll bray
But many women wish they had
My ugly face, of which I’m glad.
And they won’t say that I am fooled
Because by modesty I’m ruled.
That’s how I am.
They don’t say of me,
They don’t say that I also
Have two eyes that are like dreaming,
Many other charms that seemingly
Cause many men to flip.
If I’m ugly, still I’m certain
That my skin’s as sweet as candy,
Those who say my legs are bandy
Haven’t seen me in a slip.
Men still criticize my voice when I talk,
My cough and my style, the way that I walk.