I am a sheep, I am a cow
if I must choose an animal [to imitate]
I am the female with an open shirt
small tits to suckle on.
Under the eyelashes of these trees
in the chiaroscuro where I was born
the horizon before the sky
was my mother's gaze.
"Because Fernandinho is like a daughter,
he brings me coffee and tapioca in bed
and to remind him that he was born male
his instinct and life will do."
And I, in front of a large mirror
I cover my his eyes with my fingers
to visualize between my legs
a tiny pussy.
Half-asleep in the bus
I abandon my country childhood
I run to the auction of desires
I'm going to rectify my fate.
In the kitchen of the guesthouse
I mix dreams with hormones
At dawn, magic will rise
it will the miracle of breasts.
Because Fernanda truly is a daughter
and wants to make love as a daughter
but Fernandinho fights on and throws up
and writhes in pain.
Then the scalpel for breasts and hips
in a vertigo of anesthesia
until my body resembles me
on the promenade in Bahia.
A smile as tender as green leaves
I pull my fingers out of their hair
when cars flash their headlights
on the stage of my life.
Where in a tangle of desire
a man clings to my buttocks
within my flesh, between my lips or labia
one man slips, another one succumbs.
Because Fernandinho died in my womb
Fernanda is a silk doll
they are the embers of a single star
that shines with light and is called Princesa.
To a lawyer from Milan
now Princesa gives her heart
and an unrepentant walk
in the shadows of a balcony.
the forest
the sky
the path
the school
the church
the shame
the skirt
the nail polish
the mirror
the lipstick
the fear
the road
the fitter
the vertigo
the charm
the magic
the cars
the police
the tiredness
the dignity
the fiancè
the minion
the gentleman
the swine
the bad luck
the drunkenness
the beating
the caresses
the failure
the disgust
the beauty
life.