Pravo ja [English translation]

In the ad with big letters says:

Discover your real you!

Find out how much you know yourself.

Payment is available in three instalments.

I said to myself, why not after all those years

Meet that gentleman

So with my colleague super ego

I could be ying and yang in the same man.

He, quiet and calm, with clear mind

Balanced as a new tire,

Has a flat in the centre, healthy liver

And a hundredth and one other quality.

We feast on ice-cream

And he likes stracciatella...

And I went to the phone

To order my real me for home.

I heard "Hallo?" and stood confused

What if he's some moron?

A parasite, without ideas?

An artist? A member of pack of hyenas?

All day long on play station, smoking pot

He goes wild on reiki and healthy food.

What if the real me, respectively him

Is a huge fan of Celine Dion?

What if he hates women or he's a sad loner

Who would ask me to be his backer?

What if he's a Kerum's look alike, dills herbalife

Or god forbid- wears a barrette!!!

I heard Hallo? Hallo?

And I said: Oh I'm sorry,

The number is wrong.