Hey man, like, like check this out man, (really), I mean listen
I was countin' the holes in the acoustic tile ceiling, you know
Mumbling and fumbling with them little buttons on my mattress you know, that hold it together
So anyways, my mind strays and the tricks that my memory plays
Like fascination and abomination on a biblical Broadway stage
Like dancers and singers and a fully landscaped gospel group and the harmony and whatever and
Dinosaurs eatin' like veggie burgers at the snack bar out front in the lobby, you know
So anyways on the same stage is me, naked like an empty page
That's when I heard him
Like a director's voice with too much echo
I guess he was talkin' to yours truly, I mean me
Madam, that's Adam
Ain't no other woman, that's had 'im
He's stronger than a tree
That apple tree over there
Wealthy in his healthy way
Never works, he never plays
Sits around and cogitates
Right now, he's planting his garden
Like I had to hear that chorus twice, you know, before I finally got the picture
I screamed, "I ain't Adam! I never seen the dude, and I ain't no virgin either"
So anyways, it's really lookin' bad man, like that director's mean when he gets mad
Like, might wreck your career with just one nod and like cripple you, you know, for life--that's a long time
My legs are shakin', my stomach's knotted, my mind has gone neurotic
I'd run if I could, but you can't hide from him, and besides that jerk took my shirt and my trousers
So anyways, in the depths of my despair, my co-star arrives--oh God, more beautiful than Cher
I screamed, "Make up! Gimme the script--please sing that chorus once more"
Madam, that's Adam
Ain't no other woman, that's had ‘im
He's stronger than a tree
And he's freshly molded from clay
Wealthy in his healthy way
Never works, he never plays
Sits around and cogitates
He's inventing the original sin
Hey madam, that's Adam
[3x]