Plus rien ne m'étonne [English translation]

Two years ago, I didn't understand much

Now it's worse

Since when you gotta do geek stuff to become popular?

They'd go and post sextapes of their parents to make more views

No one finds a stable job even with an 8-year degree

My pizza delivery guy knows how to repair satellites

V-necks, sweaters, shirts and vests are in fashion today

Teachers, bankers and accountants have become in style

We tell our life stories to complete strangers just to feel alive

Just saw an old woman having a heart attack

(Instant reflex:) I tweeted!

It wouldn't shock me if the swearwords in our thoughts were censored

Profiled, from your ringtone I can tell your personality

All around me there's cocaine it seems like a cliché

I wouldn't be shocked to find out my grandparents snort lines

I ain't shocked no more (no, no)

Ain't shocked no more

I ain't shocked no more (no, no)

Ain't shocked no more

The more I go, the more I'm jaded

The streets are filled with normal people but I watch them on TV

You could be a celebrity and work for an ED grosseries1

The stupider a show makes me the more I wanna watch it

It wouldn't bother me if Direct8 replaced Arté2

The kids go to school Guccified, Louis-Vuitonnified

One of these days they'll have VIP sections in highschools

Our scooters were unbridled, now it's their sexuality

It wouldn't shock me if Marc Dorcel aquired Walt Disney3

Mothers gets facelifted, daughters get plastified

One of these days, 8-year-old girls are gonna need 40A bras

It wouldn't shock me to find lube inside a Kinder egg4

I feel like I wanna slap all these Justin Bieber clones

I ain't shocked no more (no, no)

Ain't shocked no more

I ain't shocked no more (no, no)

Ain't shocked no more

The more I go, the more I'm jaded

Girls use their head to get money for their studies5

But not the way you think

Should they put trailers in the campuses it wouldn't shock me

Shut down all the libraries we've got our PS3s

With cameras everywhere, your 15 mins of glory don't interest me

You know a few moves, you wish some day Tecktonik will come back

You're still wearing Wayfarer shades, they got old-fashioned 2 weeks ago

We spread out terror in the heads of voters

It wouldn't shock me if Wes Craven were hosting the news

I'm scared, my brain capacities are decreasing

Doctor, my planet's messed up like a bc pill oversight

I could stumble upon Michael at the next corner

I ain't shocked no more

I got far too aware to have a point of view

I ain't shocked no more (no, no)

Ain't shocked no more

I ain't shocked no more (no, no)

Ain't shocked no more

The more I go, the more I'm jaded

1. ED (now Dia) is a chain of discount grossery stores2. Direct8 is an entertainement channel, Arté is a cultural channel3. Marc Dorcel is a famous French pornography producer4. An egg-shaped chocolate candy with a "surprise" toy inside5. "Elles touchent des bourses" is a play on words - "bourse" can mean "scholarship" as well as "ballsack". Basically, they "get their hands on scholarships/ballsacks" to pay for their studies.

Since scholarships are granted by the state, the next line ("Mais pas celles de l'état", which means "not the ones from the state"), serves to say he's not talking about scholarships.

I tried to adapt the idea by making a parallel between "using one's head" and "giving head", but I'm sure there's better.