[Intro: Lil Dicky]
Ay, ay, damn
L tapped twice on some ass, like grams
I just fucked
Now what I'm doing?
[Chorus: Lil Dicky]
I'm just pillow talking with a bitch, ayy
I'm just pillow talking with a bitch, ayy (Do you fuck with the war?)
I just finished spazzing on a bitch, ayy
Now I'm pillow talking with a bitch
[Verse: Lil Dicky & Brain]
I'm like, "Girl, that was great, talk about a connection
Am I alone in my praise, do you share my assessment?"
She like, "Yeah, that was nice, I enjoyed myself"
"Great," "Yeah"
She like, "Can you reach that shelf for my phone?
I'll take care the alarm"
I'm like, "Oh, for the morning, like, to sleep?"
She like, "Yeah, we just had sex, what did you think?
I was just gonna fuck you and leave?"
"No, I— I hadn't thought that far ahead
But of course, can I get you a t-shi—
Oh, can you not tickle my hair?
It's just a personal thing, it's not you"
"Okay, sorry for doing it"
"No, no, it’s just a personal thing, it’s not you"
"Okay, cool"
"Yeah, uh, so, you're from Minnesota?
Only thing I know is that it's colder
Break it down, how's it compare to living in LA?"
"Well, I can't compare them, they're so different
Y'know what I'm sayin'?"
"Yeah, for sure"
She like, "Apples to oranges"
"Yeah, well, you can still compare them, but I hear you
What's the deal with your family? Got any siblings?"
She like, "I have a brother," I'm like, "Oh, what he do?"
She like, "He in the Army," "Oh, true
Uh, do you fuck with the war?"
She like "Huh? What did you just say?"
"Huh? Like, just now?" "Yeah"
"Do you fuck with the war?"
"No, I don't fuck with the war"
I'm like "No, I don't fuck with the war!
Just don't know how to react to the forces
I should have just thanked you, of course—"
"Uh, why would you thank me?"
"Uh, I guess I assumed it extended to families, but okay
While we on the topic, I been actually thinkin' about some shit
About the Army and Navy
What if tomorrow is the day
That the fucking aliens came
And invaded our nation?
Like, would we even be able to fuck with their shit?
Like, do we got the type of weaponry to fuck with their ships?
Or not at all, like, would they just walk up in this motherfucker
Laughin' at us, and blastin' at us
And makin' everybody disintegrate and assimilate
Without a hint of intimidation?
Or could we do some shit to be making they heart race?
Granted I don't know the alien heart, but
You get what the fuck I'm sayin?
Like what the fuck would it be like?
Would they be like 'Earth go hard'?
Or is it just another conquest?
Or would they be like, 'Damn, Earth go hard
They was harder than Simian'?
You ever talk to your brother about this, uh, type of stuff?"
Then she like, "No"
I'm like "Well, what you think?"
She like "I don't concern myself with hypotheticals that couldn't be"
I'm like, "Girl, what you mean?"
She like, "I don't believe"
"In the war?"
"In aliens"
"Oh, hold up, hold up, wait
Girl, what you sayin'?
That all of the life in the universe happens to be where you stand?"
"I guess"
"What an enormous coincidence that shit would be
Do you see what I'm sayin'?"
"I can't hear what you're sayin'"
"Well, the universe always expanding
There are infinite galaxies
Why would we be the anomaly?"
She like "That's no coincidence, I call that shit God"
I'm like "Oh, you're religious, bitch
You think it's all God?"
"No, I know it's all God"
"No, I know that there might be a God
First off, nobody knows there's a God
Girl, I think we should drop this"
"No, what's goin' on in your brain right now?"
(Brain) Ayy, Brain on some other shit, though
I been all up in the club for the year, hey (Brain)
I been killing shit, don't mind me, uh
I'm just top flight uh, I could sure use a Sprite, I'm thirsty as fuck
Who getting money? That's Brain
Who make decisions? That's Brain
Who make the hits? That been Brain
Who run the whole operation? That be Brain—
Brain, can you just get back to the issue here
Uh, really? Can you just remind the Brain?
"You're such an idiot, we're talking about God and if He exists"
Don't call Brain names
The Brain couldn't recall
But if I'm not mistaken, this bitch to my left
Guaranteed there's a God
"I believe in a God, yes"
So, God never wrong?
God never wrong, right?
"Yeah, that's, like, the whole point"
"Brain, just get there, please"
Hold up
So, God made the Earth and God was like hold up, this shit is boring
It need more shit
God was like, 'I'ma put dinosaurs on that bitch
Dinosaurs on that bitch'
Then He like, 'Why I put dinosaurs on that shit?'
"What is your brain even saying?
Can he get to the point?"
“Hold up, Brain, you just did it
God ain't wrong, what the fuck was He thinking?”
”About what?”
“Bitch, the dinosaurs
He made the Earth for them
But then He like, 'Nah'?
'Dinosaurs are just blah'?”
”What's your point?”
“'I'ma cook up some blondes'?
Like, He was way off
I don't look like a dinosaur
Ho, them things thirty-five feet
I'm like five-foot eleven” (Up on Tinder, I'm six-foot)
“Seen that Bronchiosaurus?
That thing fuckin' neck go to Heaven
And that's just an expression, bitch
There ain't no heaven”
”Ha, funny”
“I'm just messin', but if He ain't wrong
I guess this the exception”
”Can I talk now?”
“Go ahead”
”Look, everything in life has purpose
You, chickens, a midget at a circus”
“What? I don't interpret”
She like, ”That's not for me to determine”
“So dinosaurs' purpose was to just die?”
”That's not for me to determine”
“But—okay”
”I'm just a person”
“Okay, but think of the root of the argument, girl
View how we started this, girl
Like, you don't believe in the aliens"
"Yeah, I just—"
"You confine God to Earth, girl, I find that shit salient”
”I just don't presume to know the plan”
“Bitch, me neither, but that's not what I've been saying”
”But what are you saying?”
“Why can't God fuck with aliens?
Why can't Earth just be like a fuckin' small side project for this guy?”
”Okay, look, we just don't see eye to eye”
“Yeah, but logically, like, you don't believe in your side”
”Yeah, but you're, like, bringing up fuckin' dinosaurs
Like, we could have shared the Earth with them, nobody knows”
“Yeah, there is hard soil evidence, girl
Like what's next, you don't fuck with Pangaea?”
She like, ”Let’s change the subject”
“Okay”
This bitch don't know 'bout Pangaea
"Brain, leave it alone"
“I'm starving, are you hungry, by chance?”
”Oh, my God, I'm so hungry”
“Yes, do you wanna get a pizza?”
”Fuck yeah”
“Fuck yeah, I'm on it
Also, I'm sorry about that whole interrogation thing”
"Come on, dude, I'm a grown up
I'm capable of having intelligent conversations”
“Okay, I just—fuck it
Okay, back to this pizza, I lean pepperoni”
”Ugh”
“Sausage?”
”How can you eat that shit?”
“No, no, no, this not Domino's, this legit
It's high quality meat and shit”
”No, no, I'm vegetarian”
“Oh, right, well, we can get half pepperoni
And half of whatever you like”
”Ugh, ew, I can't have that shit in the same box”
“Seriously? You're that against meat?”
”No, I'm that against us being gluttonous
Thinkin' that animals live on this earth to get eat”
“Okay, is it how we treat them?”
”Uh, that sure doesn't help”
“Okay”
She like, ”I'm not opposed to us hunting
But now we not trackin' them down
We just breed them to eat, that's disgusting
You should honestly read on the subject”
“Alright, hold up
Just because we're not running around with a bow and arrow
Doesn't mean we're not hunting these chickens
We just set the place to do our hunting intelligently enough
To manipulate these animals and get them to do exactly what we want”
”That's my point, we just incubate animals
Instead of just letting them live how they come”
“But, that's just your God at work, bitch
Why we go hard on Earth
What you think would happen right now if you left my place
And there were like three wolves waiting for you?”
”Wolves?”
“Bitch, they would tear your ass up!
Viciously, like, they would eat your titties”
And your pussy
“That's what they do”
And your face and shit
“Humans are smarter, bitch, that's what we do”
She like, ”Apples to oranges”
“Bitch, that phrase don't make no sense!
Why can't fruit be compared?”
She like, ”I'm gonna leave”
“There's just all of these conflicting principles”
”Right, enjoy your pepperoni pizza”
“I will, that's my God-given right”
She like, ”Where is my bag?”
“Oh, that leather one next to the trash?
That's the one, right? Made out of cow, I think?”
”Ugh, why are there no Ubers in this area?”
“So you don't eat the meat, you just be wearing the shit”
”I'm not listening, dude”
“That's barbaric as shit
Do you come from the vikings?"
”Why are you even still talking?”
“Do you take peoples' land?”
”I'm not listening, dude”
“Do you fuck with the war?”
”How are there no Ubers anywhere?”
“Just download Lyft, they are bigger in presence out here”
”I don't wanna add shit to my phone”
“Okay, the choices are clear, ho
Ubers are not around here, ho
Taxis will come, but they real slow”
And the Brain gotta poop
T minus five till the Brain gotta shit
”I just downloaded Lyft, but it's being so glitchy"
“Uh, look, do you just want to sleep here?”
”Uh, no thanks”
“It's past 2 am”
”I'm not sharing a bed with you”
“You can sleep in my bed, I'll just sleep on the floor”
”Fine, you're sure?”
“Yeah, it's cool
I won't throw you out to the wolves”
”Oh, my God, you are so annoying”
“I couldn't help myself
But can you at least throw me a pillow?”
[Chorus: Lil Dicky]
I'm just pillow talking with a bitch, ayy
I'm just pillow talking with a bitch, ayy (Do you fuck with the war?)
I just finished spazzing on a bitch, ayy
Now I'm pillow talking with a bitch
[Outro: Lil Dicky & Brain]
Brain gotta poop, still
Please don't neglect the brain
Please don't neglect the brain
"Hold on, is that my Lyft? I don't know if I—"
"Nah, I got a pizza
Full pepperoni, too
So, you're not gonna wanna be a part of it"
But first, you should poop
Please don't neglect the brain