Pelkuri [English translation]

I've never had the chance to say this

You won't let me say this to you

But now you don't have any other option than to listen

You can only press play or stop

You know when I went to high school

Few of my friends turned into drug addicts

Then I realized they have a lot in common with you

In behavior

Aa lullaby when I had a dummy in my mouth

You were drinking booze and beating mom

No one should stand that

You got a divorce which you still have the nerve to be bitter about

That's why we had to move but it was almost useless

You decided you won't lose, no one will be safe from you

I can't understand this

How did the judge decide you have the right to see children

Since childhood I was forced to get use to it

Visiting you every other weekend

On Friday in anxiety, we're in trouble

'Cause we know what's coming once again

And we wouldn't wanna go but we have to cope with it

The madness won't end in three days again

First a basketful of beer along from the store

With breakfast a pint of vodka and lemonade

As always, drunk the whole weekend

Started on Friday and continued until we got home on Sunday

Unemployed, employed, at cottage, in the apartment

Smashed since the morning and the man never passes out

Empty eyes, you stink like booze

You sleep till three, you have a bottle on the night stand

It opens when you open your eyes

The whole day goes in the same way, you say there's nothing bad about this

Crying child in panic asks please don't drink anymore

You say we're in the wrong, 'cause we don't understand

Your voice turns aggressive

You move on to your favorite topic

How my mother is a shitty person

And how you wanted to beat her up

Even better, how you'd want to kill her

Yeah, we listened to that shit for hours every time

You told sick stories while drinking with children

You wanted to teach about sex

You talked perverted stuff, fucking disgusting, I don't even wanna tell them

We got to know your ugly worldview

Where everything sucks and nobody is smarter than you

You idealize violence, keep guns with you

Niggas should be killed and every hag is a stupid whore

Narcissist, you blame other people for your mistakes

Nothing is ever your fault, you don't apologize

We didn't dare to tell our mom a word about it

There would be drama, you'd do something bad to her

You were scary, short-tempered, aggressive

And I didn't feel safe with you

You forgot to pick up my sister from practice as you promised

After an hour mom picked her home, I was with you

You remembered then and we went to our place

You could've said I'm sorry, you started yelling and raging

Mom said you'd remember if you listened sometimes

And then you decided you'll beat her up

You pushed her to a wall and drew your fist back

Ready to crush her with psychotic eyes

But I yanked your hand, you looked me in the eye

Got out the door and slammed it shut

I told mom to get a restraining order

To you it was another thing to make twisted jokes about

Heh, to us it wasn't funny

You said you should've killed and raped the whore then

Fucking sick, brought me in good mood

I just thought how I'd fuck you up if I wasn't so small

How would that go now, but I don't want that anymore

Mom made me promise I wouldn't

And I respect her but I don't respect you

Fucking narcissistic mentally ill alcoholic suck dick

And it isn't how you think it is

Mom never said a bad word about you to us

You've controlled conflicts with power and you have a way with words, you can manipulate others

And I've inherited that talent, figured it out when I was a teen

So I'm immune to shit, won't work on me

You're the puppet master behind everything

Think about it, unemployed alcoholic who lives on sober woman's money

You play so many games, well that's like a day job

You're a real bloodsucker, twisted like a corkscrew

You've talked so much shit

That you believe your own stories yourself

Like remember when I had my birthday?

Or no you don't remember my birthdays

But anyways I had my birthday

You had promised to take care of dog's doctor

You didn't, mom called you, you started yelling whore

I heard it, fuck I was angry

I took the phone and went outside

Now we'll clear the situation, I won't put up with your shit anymore

You're gonna have to talk with me about few things

For the first time I was brave enough to talk straight

You're a wifebeater, an alcoholic, whose promises can't be trusted

I repeated everything that has happened

If you still wanna have a son, start talking

You couldn't handle it, you didn't answer but started circling the subject

You froze man, you spluttered like a wuss beside the point

I tried to wake you up, you tried to erase everything from your mind

Mom, her money blah blah there's nothing wrong with me

You don't listen, this is your son who cries and rages

Because I'm hurting do you understand, but you're not fucking listening

All you did was whine, I said never call again

Threw the phone into a wall and hit it till my knuckles were bloody

Message just doesn't go through to that lunatic

At the same time you had bad conscience

Bubble is about to burst, there's a voice inside head

Did I do something wrong? No, no quickly more booze

Back into the bubble, bad conscience won't bother while drunk

Aah, everything is okay again

That whore has brainwashed the kid, should get beaten

Bullet to that brain, that would be a relief

How did they boy get so fucked up

Hey, he told he tried cannabis

I've also, but could it be possible

That he's become a drug addict

Now I see it clear, that must be the reason

Wow, few drunken days pass

You decided to start calling moms family

That Aleksi injects, takes drugs and cocaine

The best detail was that I sniff glue

Wow, is it sad or comical

You're in your totally own psychosis

Rather than facing the truh

Your brain build up a theory without basis

Because you're sick and I just realized now later

Now you don't have to tell any bullshit stories to anyone

About why you aren't on good terms with the children, just tell them to listen to this

And stay away from me

Did you think this was over?

Not over yet, sit down man

Just relax, I have something to tell you

Long time no see, now you can't yell over me, how does that feel like?

I'm not lying, truth comes from the children

Truth is you neglected your parenthood

Yell and talk shit, but it doesn't change anything

It's not new thing, you're running from responsibility

Running from the reality, drinking beer

Because you're not man enough to face the truth

In the end you'll have take responsibility for your actions

And no, this time you won't survive with violence

Keep on raging and making noise, you fucking pig

Doesn't help to blame others, this is only your fault

Admit it, even though it doesn't feel nice

Getting drunk came before family

You say you love us and mom is to blame for everything

Even though drinking was more important than your family

You know it, fucking mouse, that's why you're burning inside

What can you do, actions speak louder than words

I feel like crushing your face, breaking your arms and legs

Shove the money for a moped down your throat

They were Janna-Maija's, so don't whine

You should be strangled so long that you'd turn blue

I wanna look you in the eye and see you realizing

What the fear you caused us feels like

I'm more of a man than you, I don't need violence

The pain of truth feels even worse to you

You try to call, don't bother I'm not gonna aswer you

You're not dad, you're a stinking pile of shit

You're not man but a boy, don't you see, bar fights and guns don't make you a tough guy

A real tough guy, takes care of his family

A tough guy also can admit his mistakes

Tough guy isn't afraid of losing his ego

Tough guy looks in the mirror and takes responsibility for his actions

But you just don't have the guts for that

Look in the mirror, you won't see a man but a mouse

Who's trapped in selfpity

Baby in negative age, shitting himself

Hands on a baby bottle, narcissistic brat

A serious fault in your conscience

I don't answer to you, try to get that

None of us is gonna change your diapers

Just focus on getting drunk and cheating yourself

But it's not the way to get into my life again

You're gonna have to change your ways and apologize

Or you can be alone and get drunk

I'm not holding a grudge anymore

Just keep your mouth shut and leave us alone