One-Way Ticket to Pluto lyrics

Countdown, get ready for the blast off

And don't forget the hype, we're going into space

Distinguished scientists, a pesky senator and monkey turds leaking from the lab

All brought to us play by play by Howard Cosell

You're going where no man has gone before

Don't ask us where that is, we have no idea

You're chosen for this great mission

Because we owe you some favors

And besides, you're bright, a little too bright

Step one, senator, your vomit

It's time to analyze it for the folks back home

Open the hatch, launch the war satellite, that the commies aren't supposed to know about

Our real challenge is to keep it a secret from the press back home

You're going where no man has gone before

Don't ask us where that is, we have no idea

You're chosen for this great mission

Because you're healthy and strong and make a lot of fuss

Especially around us, we like you better when you're far away

Have you noticed you're going the wrong direction?

We have but that's your problem, we planned it that way

We had to dispose of all of you so we can spoil the final frontier

How dare you question our Star Wars plans for the farce that they are?

You're going where no man has gone before

For rocking the boat in our temple of doom

You're on a one-way ticket to Pluto

We wash our hands of you and your lost ark

So don't forget to write, no no no no no no no no no