Old Fart at Play lyrics

[Verse: Captain Beefheart]

Pappy with the Khaki sweatband

Bowed goat potbellied barnyard

That only he noticed, the old fart was smart

The old gold cloth Madonna

Dancin' to the fiddle and saw

He ran down behind the knoll

And slipped on his wooden fishhead

The mouth worked and snapped

All the bees back to the bungalow

Momma was flattening lard

With her red enamel rollin' pin

When the fishhead broke the window

Rubber eye erect and precisely detailed

Airholes from which breath should come

Is now closely fit

With the chatter of the old fart inside

An assortment of observations took place

Momma licked her lips like a cat

Pecked the ground like a rooster

Pivoted like a duck

Her stockings down caught dust and doughballs

She cracked her mouth glaze, caught one eyelash

Rubbed her hands on her gorgeous gingham

Her hands grasped sticky metal intricate latchwork

Open to the room, uh

Smell cold mixed with bologna

Rubber bands crumpled wax paper bonnets

Fat goose legs and special jellies

Ignited by the warmth of the room

The old fart smelled this

Through his important breather holes

Cleverly he dialed from within

From the outside we observed

That the nose of the wooden mask

Where the holes had just been a moment ago

Was now smooth amazingly blended, camouflaged in

With the very intricate rainbow trout replica

The old fart inside was now breathin' freely

From his perfume bottle atomizer air bulb invention

His excited eyes from within the dark interior glazed

Watered in appreciation of his thoughtful preparation

[Outro: Jeff Cotton]

Uh man, it's so heavy