Of course I didn't call her, then,
she messages "thank you very much"
just as always, I don't give a fuck and think what's she acting so stupid about again
And look, I get dead drunk at some shitty gas station
just like all these days, since I lost my job
the next day, she picks me up and acts jolly,
I think, is it just a bad mood and anger
She's overdoing the acting, I ask: what's up with you?
she says: I'll tell you later.
I think: What the fuck could have happened?
When I she gives me that paper, the world suddenly freezes,
"here's the doc's confirmation," thanks, I see it myself.
Fuck, there's her name right beneath the date, and I ask myself "what am I supposed to say,"
she's talking of consulting and of the doctor, and it's been settled already,
no problem, and I neither manage to hear nor look,
Everything seems to pass by me
Then I say, much too drastic: "Shut up," she's skocked,"
shit, this is all about our kid, as if she didn't know that.
I hug her and tell her, "I'll always take care of you,"
no matter what you'll decide, I'll be there for you
and we're talking and driving, and she'll tell me later,
I was the only one, that was against it in the beginning.
I say "think over keeping it," we're thinking about it, is it gonna be okay?
We're planning everything, search for names.
We're visiting a hospital, information material, and she reads it, too brutal, doubts and fear,
It's fucking up both of us, each one in it's own way,
she doesn't wanna talk with anyone anymore, I can't stand anybody.
The situation's like this: She knows, she can't trust me,
she know thousands of stories of me and some random women.
And I'm screwing anything with a heartbeat, we've been good friends for a long time,
shit, everythign was "dreamteam," fuck all those other people
and I tell her, she knows, I'm dick-driven
And I... today she out of all people is pregnant with my child?
We're losing control, her pain's too strong,
she's pissing me off, anger is ugly, everything's feels shitty for her.
I just wanna run away, not stand here and see this,
and I'm just doing some of the worst mistakes of my life.
At the time, when she'd needed e the most, I was,
fuck it, drinking again, on drugs, checking out women.
Just to do the right thing, I wasn't enough of a man for that,
didn't respect anything anymore, thank you, I'm fine
I wasn't with her, when she took the first pill
I was outside, doing some woman, 'cause we were fighting,
at night, I came back and didn't see her
went to the pc, played quake 3 and just ignored her.
We're driving to some hospital, she enters it with some friend,
I sit down in the subway, see the sun shining outside.
Passing by marmor, stone and iron (some german 60's hit "marmor, stone and iron break - just our love doesn't"), that never breakm
these skyscrapers reflect the light, and they're reflecting me
I don't love anything, feel nothing, not a bit;
just some minutes later I don't now anything about the time.
It's time that kills.
It's dead time,
and it flows like the tears on her top.
I say: "Over here you got a nice view at the airport"
she says: "The pain comes first, the anger afterwards"
I say: "Nah, I don't want this burger anymore; tastes like shit"
she says: "hey, can you really throw it away?
in the end it's a corpse, right, or what is it?
Is it bio-trash, or what is it?"
She's laughing and crying at the same time, is totally not managing to deal with it
I can watch the driving mirror, and it disgusts me
I still got the SMS in my 'send objects' folder
"Mission accomplished - Child: dead"