Nicht artgerecht [English translation]

The piece of mozzarella there - on his plate

The tiny hobby room - down in the cellar

The mother-in-law bashes him - and she visits all the time

The roadster was sold - station wagon instead

He is not allowed to drive a motorcycle either - not even a small moped

There's no chips and cola either - next to the sofa

He may not get dirty as well - totally antiseptic

If that corresponds to nature - I am doubtful

Look, the people from Greenpeace approach - chant in a choir:

That's not species-appropriate, he will not survive it

He's already showing signs of stress

That's not species-appropriate, he will not survive it

You can't keep a man like this

A saturday without Sportschau - that's not masculine

He has to go out with friends sometime - and do a pub tour

And sex just one a week - it's too little

Instead smooching all the time - he doesn't like it anyways

And looking at other women - you forbid it

He has to do it secretly - on silent paws

On parties you cling to him - like a leech

At home you call "Out!" and "Sit!" - on the toilette

Look, two activists have reached him and chain themselves to him