New Rules For COVID Dating [Russian translation]

What a year for dating, crazy

Nothing is the way it was

People texting exes sex pics

From the basement at their mom's

If you have human contact

Don't know what you'll contract

So your first date's always on Zoom

You just wish you could just go out

Get a little naughty

Girl, you're drunk on FaceTime

WiFi's getting sloppy

There's no bars, there's no school

Poundin' claws in a kitty pool

Thirsty slides through DMs

Now you landed in their close friends

No matter how you try to break through

It all feels like a waste of time

When you've gotten your fix of Netflix

Hulu, HBO, and Prime

Now you're lookin'ready

Though, it's low-key scary

Check your drip and grab your Lysol

If you're ever gonna see another person's body

[?] your forehead, you're a total hottie

Wear a mask, wash your hands

It's not like you have other plans

It's awkward, but it's cool

Following all these COVID rules

On;: Get in the zone, no more doing edibles at home alone

Two; Start the Instagram

Got a background check if you wanna slam

Three; Up your waxing game

No one's seen you naked since February

And if you hit it off, watch out if you start to cough

I got new rules for dating

Six feet apart, no mating

Safety is stimulating

No more procrastinating

These are the rules for dating

One: There's a new third base that's when you get to see their lower face

Two: Right before you touch, Purell until your hands get rough

Three: Just seal the deal, you better hope you lick 'em when you wake up in the morning

You're feeling numb, it's you, your hand, and OnlyFans

We've got rules for dating

Safety is stimulating

It's your neighbors you're saving

You'll get that touch you're craving

Just follow these rules for dating