Musical Fiction lyrics

There was a lonely guy named Robert

Who was feeling kind of down

So he got himself a coffee...

("C'mon, he's depressed, he wouldn't drink coffee...")

There was a lonely guy named Robert

Who was feeling kind of down

So he got himself a beer

("Sown, drown, clown...")

So he got himself a beer

And he saw a weird clown

("No, it's weird...")

So he got himself a beer

And then he started to drown

("Mhm") [*shakes head*]

So he got himself a beer

And he made a weird sound... Caw!

So he got himself a beer

And then he was wearing a gown

So he got himself a beer

And then he had a nervous breakdown

("Oh, I got it...")

There was a lonely guy named Robert

Who was feeling kind of down

So he got himself a beer

And he sat there with a frown

His girlfriend just broke up with him that day

So things were not okay

So he got himself an Uber

("Wait, Robert's broke...")

So he got himself a Lyft without any hesitation

Driver said, "Where are you going?"

"I don't have a destination"

He said, "That's pretty weird,

Why would you order a car if you don't know where you gonna go?

Are you stupid or something? What the f- is wrong with you?"

("It's way too aggressive...")

Driver said, "Where are you going?"

I don't have a destination

He said, "I know a nice bar that has great booze"

("I don't know what rhymes with booze. What rhymes with booze?")

He said, "I know a nice bar that has great booze"

"I'm a big fan of Tom Cruise"

So he got himself a Lyft without any hesitation

Driver said, "Where are you going?"

"I don't have a destination"

He said, "I know a nice bar that has great booze"

"Well, I have nothing to lose"

So he got out of the car and made his way inside the bar

The driver out the window yelled "please give me five stars"

He then sat down to get a drink from the bartender by the sink

That's when he saw the very thing that changed his whole reality

And oh, it was the prettiest face in the world

She was unlike any other girl

She smiled and her teeth were white as pearls, oh yeah

Like any other girl

So he got up from his seat cause his heart skipped a beat

It was time to change his day

He knew just the thing to say

He said "hey"

She said "hey"

He said "hey"

He said "sorry to interrupt"

Robert walked back to his seat

As he accepted his defeat

Then he finished up his beer

As he lost all of his cheer

Then he felt the hand upon his shoulder

As the air grew even colder

She said before he drank another

"Sorry about what happened with my brother"

"I thought that was your man"

"It's just my brother Dan"

"Hey Dan"

"Hey man"

So he got right up off of his chair

Then he ran his fingers through her hair and...

[*Receives Text Message: "I think we should break up"*]

There was a lonely guy named Robert

Who was feeling kind of down

So he got himself a beer

And he sat there with a frown

His girlfriend just broke up with him that day

But things will be okay