Mittsommernacht bei IKEA [English translation]

I've prepared long for this day

Been instructed by private trainers

I've trained marathon and many martial arts

And I may say:

I belong to the strong!

(One, two, three ...)

I put on shinguards and the football gear

Because of the shoulder pads I have a huge stature

I'm fully armored, everything waterproof

I have a New Zealand warpaint in my face

I harmonize my body with my soul

And pray that I will reach my big aims

At last I put on my war helmet

Summer sale starts at IKEA oday

[Refrain:]

Today is midsummernight at IKEA

That's bargain hunting to the death

Today is midsummernight at IKEA

Rock-hard fight for every bargain offer

Punctual at 9:30 the door is open

From the back comes a pack of young mothers

To the left there's a cluster of seniors, to the right a mob of students

Before I realize it, I am surrounded

I go down and I get totally run over

I spit out a tooth: "You wanted it this way!"

By the help of a punch I overcome a man

And with bodychecks I fight forward

[Refrain]

The shelves are already gone, I steal, without asking

One of the "Billy" shelves from someone else's cart

Then the owner of it attacks me, I can only duck away

He jumps at the back of seller with his two feet!

Now it counts here, the nerves are raw

I wrench a wardrobe for dolls from a girl

She immediately starts to scream, her mother comes too late

The child has to learn it now: This is the reality!

[Refrain]

The battle is over, the battle is done

I have the best bargains in my cart

There's only one problem - I realize it at the checkout

I forget my wallet at home!

("Hey, get out of the way to the checkout over there!")

That's it with the midsummernight at IKEA

With the bargain hunting to the death

Today is midsummernight at IKEA

I failed right before finish - I'm a stupid idiot!