Miss Lucy Had Some Leeches lyrics

Miss Lucy had some leeches

Her leeches liked to suck

And when they drank up all her blood

She didn't give a

Funny when the doctors

Had locked her in her cell

Miss Lucy screamed all night that they

Should go to bloody

Hello to the surgeon

With scalpel old and blunt

He'll tie you to the table

Then he'll mutilate your

Come it's nearly teatime

The lunatics arrive

The keepers bleed them all until

There's no one left a

Lively little rodents

Are eaten up by cats

We're subject to experiments

Like laboratory

Rats I've dropped a teacup

How easily they break

I'm on my hands and knees until

I pay for my mis-

Take off all your clothing

We've only just begun

We have no anesthesia

It's eighteen forty

One thing we should tell you

Before you try again

The tests are invented by

A lot of filthy

Mentally hysteric

She's failed the exam

Don't bother telling Lucy for

She doesn't give a

Damn that's nitrous oxide

For when you can't escape

They say the surgeons oft commit

A murder or a

Razor-blades are rusty

And not a lot of fun

So when they try to amputate

Your legs you'd better

Run and fetch the chemist

A patient's feeling sad

She's been in chains for ages

And she isn't even

Madness is a nuisance

And no one is immune

Your sister, mum or daughter

May become a raving

Lunatics are dangerous

And doctors are obeyed

They also go together just

Like toast and marma-

Ladies are like children

With brains the size of squirrels

Let's give a clitoridectomies

To all the little

Girls are helpless treasures

That daddies must protect

So lie upon the table

For the doctors to in-

Speculums are super

And stirrups all the rage

So spread a lady's legs and then put her

Back in to her

Cage of naked crazies

The surgeon's here to bleed

The doctors are all learned men

And some can even

Reading can be risky

For women on the verge

It only did us worlds of good

To poison, leech and

Purging is a penance

Phlebotomy's a chore

No need to sterilize the tools

We never did be-

Fore the night is over

Before you go to bed

They'll take a hammer and nail

And jam it in your

Headstones in the courtyard

And statues in the park

Are not for the insane

Just leave them rotting in the

D A R K

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