Miracle of Judaism lyrics

Dot Nardoni, Tiffany Axelrod

Zoe Feinstein, Angelina Dellibovi

Bunny Doyne, or what's her name

Mo Cristofaro

And Ellie Mazie Rosenthal's really well built

When Heather Levin stares at me

Why do I wilt?

I like when Julie Johnson

Does splits in her kilt

Of these girls

Which should I invite to my bar mitzvah?

I've a problem to flaunt:

I don't want the girls I should want

[COMMENTATOR]

Batter up!

[JASON]

I want girls for whom I lust

Girls who wear a lot of makeup

Girls who smoke and show their bust

Girls with whom I always wake up—

[COMMENTATOR]

Strike one!

[JASON]

Would they come though

If they were invited?

And not laugh at my Hebrew

And not laugh at my father and his friends?

[COMMENTATOR]

Strike two!

[JASON]

Excluding them, I find exciting

And I'm left with them, I'll be inviting

Selecting girls for one's bar mitzvah

God, that's the miracle of Judaism

[COMMENTATOR]

Strike three, you're out!

[JASON]

That'd be the miracle of Judaism