Mes bourrelets d'antan [English translation]

When I weighed twenty stones

like an elephant cub,

I would scandalously sprawl

across three seats in the subway.

When I flew on a Caravelle

the plane leaned on one side.

When I climbed up the Eiffel tower

I could feel it sway.

(chorus)

Were are my bulges of old gone?

My appealing double chins.

I lost them all with this diet,

both my extra weight and my lovers.

When I bought a bra

I always supersized it.

Now I look like a candy cane

and I don't wear any.

To please me, all my lovers

would hand me both the keys

of their flats

and their fridges.

(chorus)

I should have been content

with my bed achievements,

but I read in Marie-Pierre1

"Lose your calories".

Now I wonder at my slenderness

and only appeal to fashion designers.

They dress me alright, but nobody

cares to undress me anymore.

(chorus)

1. a wink to Marie-Claire.

Marie-Pierre is a common surname in France.