Mein Testament [English translation]

Anticipating every hour,

no one knows what lies ahead,

I take paper and feather in hand,

and start writing my last will and testament.

I write my last will,

but I sincerely do hope,

that the will that I'm writing now,

won't be my last one.

But in case the unavoidable happens,

I will now be prepared,

because when it happens,

it will be hard to think of it then.

As my executor,

I will give you a free hand,

I know that my estate,

will be save in your hands.

First thing to do is to go to the liquor store,

the proprietor is already puffing and swearing,

because my death

is a serious loss for his profit.

He will inherit all the empty bottles

in our cellar,

with all that deposit,

he'll prosper once more.

Whatever bottles are left

in the cellar

Those I'll leave to you, my friends,

So that you know that I do value you.

I do thank you for of all the precious hours,

that you have given me

and I do appreciate,

that today you're walking behind my black car.

I bequeath to you the kegs and the bottles,

for your health, for my comfort

I would have loved to drink with you,

but that won't be possible, so I'll say cheers.

Everything that is in my earthly possession

My dog and home,

I'll leave to you, my girlfriend,

Make the best of it.

And if the rooms seem to be

much to small an narrow,

invite friends in to your home,

and the house will feel much bigger then.

Give away whatever you want to give away

and remember,

be much more gracious, I beg of you,

than I was in my time.

All of my dreams, my goals

are in your capable hands,

you, the one I loved so much,

so much as I realize only right now.

I wanted to change the world for the better,

with not much succes, for that matter,

please go on where I've stopped,

perhaps you will succeed.

That succes will console you,

when I won't be living anymore with you,

you'll be once more the happiest,

you already are the prettiest.

My poems, my songs,

Are yours to have.

You that loved me so much,

more perhaps than I ever deserved.

Because of you I,

if this is to be my final hour,

have had much happiness,

much more than my fair share.

I will be sorry,

but only for a moment,

that the same fate as that of Baucis and Philemon,

wasn't bestowed upon us.

One thing makes my happy,

if I am to die right now,

I'll have my adversaries

fooled one last time.

I already hear the gossipers,

pretending to be in sorrow,

utter that I was the best, the loveliest,

the greatest one of all.

To you, you bootlickers, I will happily leave

your exasperation,

because there are only good things to be said,

about the dead.

There, my writing is done,

everything that has to be written is written,

I'll leave room for the date,

and sign it right now.

This is my last will and testament,

but I sincerely do hope,

that this will I worte,

won't be the last.

And if it has to be the last one,

please let my epitaph say:

"Here lies one who didn't like to go,

but he left content."