Mein neues Handy [English translation]

I have a new cell phone and I love it so much,

I think I love it so much, I couldn't love it any more,

without this phone my everday life would be pretty empty.

I even think that my whole life would be very hard.

My new phone makes driving quite comfortable:

Like a GPS, it has a voice guided built in 3D system.

Though I still ask myself very often: Where do I want to go?

But my new phone knows just exactly where I am.

Because my new phone also monitors the fridge,

I haven't made a shopping list in a long time.

My new phone knows exactly how to feed me well,

it knows my vitamin needs and says I'm too heavy.

My new phone makes my life into child's play.

Because of this phone the way is itself the goal.

My new phone makes me into a totally new man,

and there is nothing that my new phone can't do.

I have a new phone and that's pretty cool:

It regulates the Chlorine level in my swimming pool.

My phone is flexible and it's also thrifty:

It controls the gas and power usage in the whole house.

I also use my new phone as a remote control.

Meanwhile, the washing machine starts all on its own.

My new phone learns very quickly. I firmly believe

that after a software update it can iron shirts.

My new phone makes my life into child's play.

Because of this phone the way is itself the goal.

My new phone makes me into a totally new man,

and there is nothing that my new phone can't do

I have a new phone that is so unbelievably small,

It fits perfectly in a shot glass.

When the shot glass is full, it doesn't mess up my phone,

cause my new phone is fully waterproof.

My new phone makes my life into child's play.

Because of this phone the way is itself the goal.

My new phone makes me into a totally new man,

and there is nothing that my new phone can't do

I have a new phone that wins all around.

Unfortunately, you can't make calls with it.

But my new phone is nevertheless super cool.

I wouldn't know who I would call anyway.