またね幻 [Matane Maboroshi] [English translation]

I don’t wanna see your lingering afterimage

Averting my eyes from the blue light

My heart and body had a disagreement

And I was unable to accept it all

“Forget about our promise” you sighed

Looking at the clouds before tears began to flow

I wonder when you got that habit of yours

Fruitless recollections, even though I just want to be finished with it

I want to hang my head

Till’ there’s no point hiding it anymore

Anyone would be fine, I’m through with this broken courage

I want to give up 1 , even as I tried calling your name again

I get it, I get it

I’m just not quite used to it yet

Until my wishes are fulfilled, I’ll never arrive at a conclusion

Every time we unexpectedly pass by, I end up putting it to song

With this melancholy that won’t even turn into tears, I’m pleading the future

With my mismatched feelings I’ll plunge as far as I can go

As I pull closer, perhaps we’ll meet at our dreams someday

I’m better off not looking for it, oh don’t go looking for it

Just let me forget it all now

It might be unsuitable of the youth that I’m bound to

But I’ve no time for roundabout expressions

So let me say something unfit for my position

A song imbued with my fragility

For your sake, for my sake

A shallow song

I’ll never get closer to fulfilling my wish

Every time we unexpectedly pass by, I end up putting it to song

With this melancholy that won’t even turn into tears, I’m pleading the future

With my mismatched feelings I’ll plunge as far as I can go

As I pull closer, perhaps we’ll meet at our dreams someday

I’m better off not looking for it, oh don’t go looking for it

Let me forget about it all someday

Let everything you are be enclosed within me

I don’t even need luck, space or time anymore

Turning a colour close to air I finally understood

When I noticed, you were already a phantom

But even so you’re always here

I still believe, oh let me keep believing

Every time I sing I’m able to meet you again

Why is it always the unseeable things

That we believe in

Everything that I received from you

These fantasies, this destiny, your momentary voice

Have kept this wordless self alive

They flow forth impossibly, and I’ve found it

1. The word printed in the lyrics for ‘give up’ is 明らめたくて (lit. ‘want to clarify/elucidate’) which is pronounced the same way as 諦めたくて (lit. ‘want to give up’). The latter is the word that a listener would probably get from the song without reading the lyrics and it makes a bit more sense so I went with that in the translation. But the wordplay here implies not only did she want to give up, she also wanted to reaffirm herself of something – taking the dual meanings suggested self-referentially, perhaps she wanted to reaffirm that she herself had given up.