Lumberjack lyrics

BARBER:

I didn't want to be a barber, anyway!

I wanted to be a lumberjack!

Leaping from tree to tree as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia!

The Giant Redwood!

The Larch!

The Fir!

The mighty Scots Pine!

The smell of fresh-cut timbers!

The crush of mighty trees!

With my best girlie by my side!

We'd sing! Sing! Sing!

I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay,

I sleep all night and I work all day.

CHORUS:

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay,

He sleeps all night and he works all day.

BARBER:

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch,

I go to the lavat'ry.

On Wednesdays I go shopping

And have buttered scones for tea.

CHORUS:

He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch,

He goes to the lavat'ry.

On Wednesdays 'e goes shopping

And has buttered scones for tea.

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay,

He sleeps all night and he works all day.

BARBER:

I cut down trees, I skip and jump,

I like to press wild flowers.

I put on women's clothing,

And hang around in bars.

CHORUS:

He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps,

He likes to press wild flowers.

He puts on women's clothing

And hangs around... in bars?

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay,

He sleeps all night and he works all day.

BARBER:

I cut down trees, I wear high heels,

Suspendies and a bra.

I wish I'd been a girlie

Just like my dear mama.

CHORUS:

He cuts down trees, he wears high heels

Suspendies? and a... a Bra???

BARBER:

I wish I'd been a girlie

Just like my dear mama.

GIRL:

Oh Bevis! And I thought you were so rugged!

Poofter!

==========================================

Dear Sir,

I wish to complain on the strongest possible terms about the song which you have just broadcast, about the lumberjack who wears women's clothes. Many of my best friends are lumberjacks and only a few of them are transvestites.

Yours faithfully,

Brigadier Sir Charles Arthur Strong (Mrs.)

P.S. I have never kissed the editor of the Radio Times.

==========================================

Well, I object to all this sex on the telly-vision. I mean, I keep fallin' off.

That joke was Britain's entry for this year's

Rubber Mac of Zürich Award.

It came last.