Well I drink beer and I smoke pot
And I've thrown punches in a parking lot
I don't dance but damn, the girls still dance with me
I've been driven to drink and too drunk to drive
I'm half in the bed by half past 5
Hell why would I sleep at night when I'm living the dream
I'm a beer pong champ and a flip cup king
Who's no longer welcome at the Dairy Queen
No shoes, no shirt, no more dipped cones for me
I share wine and wisdom over microwave dinners
With the girl I date that I met on Tinder
I can't call her love but I can call her anytime I want (that's a booty-call)
'Coz I drink beer and I smoke pot
And I've thrown punches in a parking lot
I don't dance but damn, the girls still dance with me
I've been driven to drink and too drunk to drive
I'm half in the bed by half past 5
Hell why would I sleep at night when I'm living the dream
I throw parties on the weekend that are second to none
Brought to you in part by my college fund
Keg-stands, 40 hands and neighbors call the cops again
I only smoke when I drink (yup) but I drink everyday
My only worry in the world is getting myself laid
It's a damn near miracle I don't already have a kid
'Coz I drink beer and I smoke pot
And I've thrown punches in a parking lot
I don't dance but damn, the girls still dance with me
I've been driven to drink and too drunk to drive
I'm half in the bed by half past 5
Hell why would I sleep at night when I'm living the dream
'Coz I drink beer and I smoke pot
And I've thrown punches in a parking lot
I don't dance but damn, them girls they still dance with me
I've been driven to drink and too drunk to drive
I'm half in the bed by half past 5
Now why would I sleep at night when I'm living the dream
Well why would I sleep at night when I'm living the dream