Lecciones de Urbanidad [English translation]

Cultivate good manners

for your bad examples

If you don't want your peers

to point their fingers at you.

Dress your base instincts up

in sheep's clothing.

The cowl does not make the monk,

but it sure looks like it does.

In public, present yourself friendly,

attentive, considerate,

courteous, thoughtful, polite,

solicitous, accommodating.

And when you fuck up, do make sure

to adorn the blunder*

So that, admiringly, the world says

How prettily he fucks up!*

Have a smile on your face,

as you swing the whip.

Break the bad news to people,

but wrapped like a present.

Tell the world with a bouquet,

that you came to raze it down.

Sign death sentences,

but with spiffy handwriting.

Put God as your witness,

and lie creditably.

Make people fall in line,

but without raising your voice.

Because at first sight one cannot see

the rottenness of your guts.

Looks can be deceiving

to your own benefit.

Listen to me and start taking

lessons of etiquette.

Cultivate good manners

wherein you can hide your sins.

Embellish your work clothes with silk

and test the results.

Although you might be

- the scum of humanity-

A complete perfect bastard,

but with regal demeanor.

Insult with civility,

steal with sophistication,

murder cleanly

and swindle with class.

Slander, but without lacking decency,

betray with pizazz,

spray perfume on your foulness

with exquisite etiquette.