Le bulletin de santé [English translation]

I lost my jowls, I lost my paunch

And this in a way so clear, so sudden

That some suppose I have in me an evil that does not forgive

Who laughs at Aesculapius and leaves him stunned

The Loch Ness monster no longer bringing its dime

During hollow times in certain gazettes

Systematically, obituaries like

To shroud me under sausage wrapper1

Now, tired of serving as a punching ball

Of the gloomy tales I'm the star of 2

I, who am well, who breathes health

I step forward and scream the whole truth

All the truth, gentlemen, I deliver it to you

If I left the ranks of the over-two-hundred-pounds

It's the because of Mimi, Lisette, Ninon

And many others, I don't remember names

If I betrayed the fat, the chubby, the obese

It's that I fuck, that I fuck, that I fuck

Like a buck, a ram, a beast, a brute

I am haunted: the heat, the heat, the heat, the heat

Let me be understood, I have the soul of a satyr

And his behavior, but that doesn't mean

That I have the talent, the genius, far from it

Not a single one yet shouted “bravo!" to me

Among other fine flowers, I count on my pink

List a decent number of journalists' wives

Who, thinking I'm done, put all their faith

To give me happiness one last time

It's beautiful, it's generous, it's big, it's magnificent

And, in the most pornographic positions

I give them the honors with the buttocks down

On piles of drafts, piles of unsold

And that's what makes that when your legitimate (wife)

Show their buttocks to the people as well as to your intimate friends

You can often read, printed backwards

The echoes, the little gossip, the in-briefs

And if you hear surging through the plinths

From the boudoir of these ladies groans and complaints

Do not say: "It is Uncle Georges who is expiring"

It's just the angels who sigh 3

And if you hear screaming like in (nineteen)fourteen

"Arise ! Arise the dead! », Do not bulge the torso

It's the exalted wife of an editor

Which prompts me to assault once again

Certainly, it happens to me, flip side

To sometimes leave feathers in battle

Hippocrates says: "Yes, these are cockscombs"

And Gallien replies: "No, it's gonococci"

Both are right, sometimes Venus gives you

Wicked kicks that a good Christian forgives

Because if they cause harm to manly attributes

They seldom endanger existence

Well, yes, I have all that, ransom of my frenzy

The boat for Kythera is quarantined

But I haven't yet, no, no, no, three times no

This mysterious evil whose name we hide

If I betrayed the fat, the chubby, the obese

It's that I fuck, that I fuck, that I fuck

Like a buck, a ram, a beast, a brute

I am haunted: the heat, the heat, the heat, the heat

1. Litt: "Cabbage leaves", newspapers 2. Untranslatable, "À dormir debout" means "unbelievable", so here unbelievable + gloomy3. Euphemism for "Orgasm"