[intro]1
The "Creamy Cheese Ghost" joke. There are an Italian, a French and an Englishman that must stay one night...a challenge, they must do a challenge, they have to stay a night inside of a castle haunted by the Creamy Cheese Ghost. So they all go like "huh, you can't do it, you can't do it", and all the others say "huh, let's see if I can't"...the first one is the Englishman and says...he stays there, then, at midnight, it comes...and says..."I'm the Creamy Cheese Ghost!". And he goes "aaagh!", he runs away, he goes away because he got scared. Then comes the French, the day after, and at midnight [the ghost] says "I'm the Creamy Cheese Ghost!" and the French gets really scared and he goes away because he got scared. Watch out now, here comes the Italian, and [everyone else] say "huh, how about that", "what do you mean-?", the Italian comes, at midnight a voice says "I'm the Creamy Cheese Ghost!" - and the Italian is like "and I'm gonna spread you on my bread!"
- Did you get that? I mean...it's because...it's funny, I mean...
- I liked that.
- Then, how does it end?
- No, it's over, he says "I'm gonna spread...", because, his name is Creamy Cheese.
- Huh.
[/intro] 2
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I was speeding 100 km/h 3
To find my soul
That was not there 4
But my engine died
Right half the way 5
"Have you put the antifreeze, since it's so cold? 6
Have you put it in there?" - "Yes"
"Have you checked if the level was between min and max?" - "Yes"
But my engine compartment is too much compartment and not enough engine 7
I'm gonna light it up - "you're great, dad!"
With a wax candle
"All right!" - "which was not there?" 8
So I decided to venture into the wood
But there was not
A clear path, and the mist was already rising
Suddenly, I saw two lying bodies
Which looked lifeless
But weren't actually dead
"They were the Englishman and the French from the jokes"
At that moment, I slipped on something
Which looked like a piece of shit
But that wasn't actually shit
"It was a slice of bread
With some creamy cheese spread on it"
Lying on the meadow
I asked myself what had happened to me
So I gave myself this answer:
"I ended up on a meadow
Where I asked myself
'What happened to me?'
Here's the answer to my question
I ended up on a meadow
Where I slipped"
Help, I'm stuck
I'm in a vicious circle
I'm a member 9
That's what I know 10
I was in the world of jokes
And I was witnessing the final
Of the joke
About the Creamy Cheese Ghost
Where the Italian wins
And the Englishman and the French lose
When they woke up
I asked where the Italian was
- He was not there -
They aswered: "when I'll feel like it, I'm gonna get married again 11
But not now
I'll keep the wife I got
The wife I got"
End of the first part
Beginning of the second part
The Italian, indeed
Went into another joke
The one where a clock
Is thrown down a tower
And they race to go and get it
Before it touches ground, breaking into pieces
So the Italian winds the clock back an hour
Then reaches the sidewalk below, well in advance
Catches the clock on the fly and basically
Wins, wins, yes, the Italian wins
And with him, the whole Italy wins
And if a Swiss tells you:
"Italian, pizza spaghetti mandolino mamma
Mum, you know who's here? It's the Merendero!" 12
Don't blush
And don't lower your head
But tell him:
"First of all, you appear in not one single joke 13
Twooo
Thr-ain of love, take me with you 14
Four-ever happy 15
F-I've seen you polluting the river 16
Siiix" 17
This was one example of the cunning
Which lets us be a smash in jokes
It's not just love who rules
Our wonderful Earth
But let's get back to the wood
The two men in the wood
Meanwhile decided that time had come
To have their vengance against the Italian
So they made me dress up like the Creamy Cheese Ghost
To fool the Italian - the pizza! - 18
The aforementioned believed he was facing
The ghost of the Creamy Cheese Ghost
At that point I said
The fateful words: "I am the Creamy Cheese Ghost"
"That's not possible" - he said -
"I've just spread you"
"It's obvious you have not" - I said -
"Or else I wouldn't be here"
"But I'm gonna spread you again 19
And I'm already anticipating your taste on the bread"
No, no, you're not gonna make it - "why?"
Because you're not making a proper use of the knife
At the hands of the Englishman this time you'll fall
At the hands of the French you're gonna be fooled
Persist on your opinion, if you want 20
But you're not gonna spread me on that bread
Never, never, you'll never do it
On this bread, you'll never do it
Never, never, you'll never do it
On this bread, you'll never do-
Do it- do it- miss Doe. 21
- I want to kiss you - 22
And the Italian sang, and sang
And finally, his desperate cries
Reached the ears of his divine protector
The god of jokes, who said:
"You, you dared to change 23
The final of the joke
About the Creamy Cheese Ghost
And I, being employed as a god,
I absolutely can not overlook
This legal flaw"
Gino Bramieri 24 is much more indulgent
Please, be compliant
Grant me an amnesty
"An amnesty? Oh no!
You're gonna die the same way as your predecessor
I mean, the Creamy Cheese, let's call it so
And in a galore of laughter
You're gonna be spread on that big bread 25
With a small knife
Here, take this
[blows a raspberry]"
And this is the account
The account of my own
Death
1. in this spoken intro, the popular Italian comedian Claudio Bisio tells the band a well-known childish joke, in the typical hesitant style of many children when they try to tell one. The - quite questionable - joke lies on the rhyme between "Formaggino" (creamy cheese triangle, frequently spread on a slice of bread as a snack for children) and "panino" (small bread, sandwich). It is a notable example of a kind of joke based on an Italian guy outsmarting other two men (typically an Englishman, a French or a German). This same song quotes another one.2. this song makes a LOT of references to other songs, books or movies, either in the lyrics or in the music. I'm gonna add a note to the most important ones (well, basically those that come across my mind at the moment).3. this verse, together with the three before, is a reference to a 1962 song by Gianni Morandi, "Andavo a cento all'ora" ("I was speeding 100 km/h").4. a reference to an old Italian commercial for a floor wax. This verse becomes a kind of refrain, all throughout the song.5. probably a reference to the first verse of Dante's "Divine Comedy".6. the music of this part is a reference to another Gianni Morandi's song, "Sei forte papà" (= "you're great, dad"), in which a child asks his dad many questions.7. a pun on "vano", meaning both "compartment" and "empty".8. pun on "cera" (= "wax") and "c'era" (= "was there").9. a pun on the word "circle", which should also work in English.10. pun on "socio" (= "member") and "so ciò" (= "that's what I know").11. pun on "mi risposero" (= "they answered me") and "mi risposerò" (= "I'm gonna get married again").12. "the Merendero" is a character from an old Italian commerical.13. another musical reference to yet another song by Gianni Morandi, "Un mondo d'amore".14. pun on "tre" (= "three") and "treno" (= "train").15. pun on "quattro" (= "four") and "qua trovi" (= "here you'll find").16. pun on "cinque" (= "five") and "c'inquinate" (= "you're gonna pollute").17. sampled voice from the song "Sei bellissima" (= "You are beautiful") by Loredana Berté. Thus, there's a pun on "sei", meaning both "six" and "you're".18. " 'a pizz' " is said in Neapolitan dialect, to make fun of the stereotype.19. this part is a musical reference to the song "This Jesus must die", from the musical "Jesus Christ Superstar". Its influence can also be heard in the main theme of the song.20. pun on "per mano" (= "at the hands of") and "permani" (= "persist").21. pun on "mi spalme-" (= "you'll never spread") and "miss Palme" (= "Miss Palms"), which sounds like the title of a beauty contest.22. "I' te vurria vasa'" is the title of a Neapolitan song by Vincenzo Russo and Eduardo Di Capua.23. the god is voiced by Italian comedian and actor Diego Abatantuono (he had a role in the Oscar-winning movie "Mediterraneo", Best Foreign Language Film in 1992).24. Italian comedian known for his jokes on the Italian TV.25. "panino" (lit. "small bread"), one of the most common snacks for children, becomes here "panone" (lit. "big bread").